


Caretaker

by LadyWallace



Series: Caretaker [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU but canon compliant, Angels, Caretaker Meg, Cas at the mental hospital, Cas is adorable, Cas is an artist, Cas just wants to watch the bees, Dean makes up with Cas, Demons, Gen, Guilty Winchesters, Leviathans, Light Angst, Meg & Castiel friendship, Meg is Badass, Meg is conflicted, No Slash, Protective Cas, Protective Meg, Sam and Dean get a smack in the face, Sam and Dean show up eventually, Season 7 AU, Tortured Cas, Tortured Meg, Whump, crazy cas, hurt cas, pre-Megstiel, sick/poisoned Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 19:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyWallace/pseuds/LadyWallace
Summary: It was true, Meg really only offered to look after Cas for her own gain. At first anyway. But as she gets to know him better she finds there might be another reason after all, and with demons, angels, and Leviathans all out looking for him, someone needs to keep him safe. Set S7 hurt!crazy!adorable!Cas with a dash of Megstiel





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A slight AU fix-it fic to S7 and Cas' arc at the mental hospital. I wrote it as pre-Megstiel, but it can be seen as friendship too.
> 
> Thanks to Aini_NuFire for betaing this one :)

It was strange, Meg mused as she watched the angel sleep. For starters, the fact that he was sleeping at all was odd enough, but everything else too only made it stranger still. Who would have known that transferring mental scars to his own brain would have made Castiel go totally bonkers? But then, Sam Winchester had been nine kinds of messed up for years, so it only made sense that taking some of that freakiness would crack poor Castiel's mind like an egg.

So, this whole situation was weird, but she was grateful for the sleeping at least. Cas was a lot easier to handle while he slept. In fact, it was almost a relief now that he was finally down again. Meg just hoped he wouldn't suffer any more nightmares. She could do with a peaceful night after the day she'd had.

Those first few days after he had taken Sam's mental Cage scars had been rough. Castiel had first been spacey, then weird, then weirder, and finally the hallucinations had started up in earnest and he was screaming about Lucifer and there wasn't much Meg could do about that, but keep the other hospital staff away in case he smote something during one of his fits. She'd gotten the idea after he kept blowing out the light bulbs in the room and surrounding hallway. That was when she began to reconsider her awesome idea to stick close to the angel for protection. Maybe he wouldn't be much good after all, especially when he went comatose shortly after the worst of the fits and stayed that way for the better part of two weeks. But Meg had already committed to this plan, and she wasn't really one to back down. Besides, if worse came to worse, she still had a bargaining chip to offer the Leviathans should they manage to catch up to them, and that was reason enough to stick around Castiel. At least a comatose Cas was easy to look after.

Until he woke up, that was. That had happened three days ago and it had been three days of chasing him around, trying to keep him occupied in the day room, and trying to keep up with him when the crazies were allowed their afternoon constitutional in the hospital gardens. After an hour of watching Cas chase squirrels, trying to start conversations with them, Meg considered getting a leash.

She had not anticipated the deterioration of the angel's mind, but the little treetopper was definitely off his rocker. She had hoped that the coma had been a product of his body and grace healing itself, but apparently that hadn't been the case because he had woken up completely mental and Meg wasn't sure what she was going to do with him now. She only hoped this wasn't permanent.

She looked down at him again over the top of her magazine. Castiel was curled on his side, facing her, the blanket pulled tightly around him. Part of her, a part she really hated, wanted to think this image was kind of adorable, but she wouldn't allow herself to think that. She quelled those observations quickly as she remembered the mess Castiel had made with his lunch, stabbing his juice box too vigorously, and dissecting his sandwich until it no longer resembled anything but crumbs strewn across his bed as he complained that it tasted like molecules. Whatever that meant.

She sighed and went back to reading, when she heard a sharp gasp, and the bed creaked as Castiel jerked in his sleep. She quickly looked up again and saw him trembling, curling up tighter, a keen starting in the back of his throat.

"Hey," she said and nudged his hip with the foot she had propped up on the cot. "Castiel."

He only curled up tighter, panting heavily now. "No, no, please brother, don't," he whispered.

Great, another Lucifer induced nightmare. She had better stop it before he started screaming and woke up all the other patients, thus alerting the night nurses. The last thing she needed was for someone to find her here camped out all night with her patient. Meg stood and bent over the bed, grabbing Castiel's shoulder and shaking him roughly.

"Hey, Clarence, wake up!"

Several more shakes, and he started awake with a gasp, eyes flying open, fevered and wild. He grabbed her wrist and she gritted her teeth at the crushing grip, trying to yank her arm away, until he finally looked up at her.

"Meg?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, same as last time," the demon huffed, pulling pointedly on her arm again.

Castiel looked down at her small wrist clamped in his hand and quickly released her. "Sorry."

She ignored him and sat back down, grabbing her magazine again. "You could have left Sam with his own issues, and stayed in your new, happy, apple pie life as Emmanuel the magical medicine man, you know," she told him.

Castiel's eyes widened as he looked up at her. "Of course I couldn't have. Sam Winchester is my friend. And after what I did to him and Dean…there was no way I would have left him to suffer. I did what I had to. And true, I am paying the consequences, but I think it's fair, don't you?"

Those blue eyes stared up at her with so much intensity that she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know, demons aren't exactly into the whole morality thing. I would have left him."

"I'm not so certain of that," Cas told her with a small smile. "You stayed with me, after all."

She snorted. "I have a crazy angel in my pocket, why wouldn't I stay? You're worth an awful lot as a bargaining chip."

Castiel stared at her for a long time. "I don't think that's the only reason you stayed, Meg."

She glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Whatever gets you through the night."

"If it's any consolation, I think you are better than you allow others to see. I can see inside of you, you know, and it is not so dark in there as I have seen in other demons," Castiel told her in his annoyingly matter of fact way. "And you are also very beautiful."

Meg's eyebrows furrowed, not sure how to take the compliment or whatever it had been, and the indecision made her annoyed. She stood up angrily, suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze. "You're impossible," she scoffed.

Castiel's face crumpled in confusion and something that looked like hurt. "You're angry. Why are you angry?"

His childish reaction stirred something deep inside her that only made her angrier, but this time at herself. This 'mission', or whatever she was going to call it, was starting to get to her in the worst way. She sighed and shook her head. "I'm not angry, exactly. It's…complicated." She turned to the door.

"You're leaving?" Castiel asked, stopping her. His voice held some panic that she hadn't been expecting.

She turned around, cocking one eyebrow. "What, do you want a bedtime story too?"

"A story would be nice," Castiel admitted, settling back into the bed and Meg could almost picture him clutching a teddy bear to his chest. "Would you tell me one that will keep the bad dreams away?"

The pitifully hopeful look on his face made her give in, much to her chagrin. It was disgusting. Had she really gone that soft?

She huffed and slumped back into the chair. "I'm not going to tell you a damn bedtime story, Castiel." His face fell and she amended. "But I will stay here and wake you if you have another nightmare. No more talking, though. Just go to sleep."

Castiel settled back down, seeming satisfied enough as he pulled the blanket over himself again, smiling up at Meg. "Goodnight, Meg," he told her before he closed his eyes and was soon asleep, his face softening in rest.

She sighed as she watched the steady rise and fall of his breathing.

"Goodnight, Clarence."

~~~~~~~

Meg always slipped out of the hospital early in the morning before she came back in for her actual shift so none of the staff got suspicious about her being there seemingly at all hours. She tried to lie low as much as possible, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention. Demons had been in the hospital before, and even though she knew that had been for Sam, she didn't want to risk them figuring out that Castiel was a new patient there. That would be bad for both of them.

As she dropped her stuff off in the nurses' back room, she greeted one of the other nurses there, Dawn, who usually shared the same shift with her.

"Morning," she forced a pleasant smile at the blond woman who had just come in the door.

"Hey, Meg, your boy was asking for you," Dawn said teasingly with a roll of her eyes. "Refused to take his pills from me."

Meg bit back a groan. "Alright, I'll take care of it."

"He's really taken a shine to you," Dawn said with a giggle.

"Yeah, I know," Meg grumbled.

"I think it's cute," Dawn said. "So is he, actually."

Meg glared at her. "He's a patient. And he's a handful. You're welcome to him."

Dawn laughed, not knowing that Meg was actually half serious. She was beginning to think that the protection Castiel provided wasn't worth the trouble. In fact, in the state he was in, she was beginning to wonder how much protection he would offer at all.

Meg went down the hall to Cas' room and opened the door, seeing him sitting on the side of the bed, hands folded in his lap. His eyes lit up and he smiled as he saw her come in, like he was a freaking puppy or something. Meg bit back another groan.

"There you are, Meg, I was wondering when you would get here."

She folded her arms across her chest. "I heard you wouldn't take your pills from Dawn, Castiel."

He frowned at her. "You know I don't need them, Meg. They will not help my condition at all. Even if they could, I would have to take far more than the recommended dose for them to do anything thanks to my angelic nature."

"Then they won't hurt you either, so you can stop being weird and take them," Meg informed him, grabbing the plastic cup from the side table and shoving it at him.

"Dawn is less grumpy than you," Castiel said thoughtfully.

"Then why don't you follow her around?" Meg grumbled.

Cas gave her another beaming smile. "Because you are the only one who knows who and what I really am. I could tell the others, I suppose, but I don't think they would understand—they generally don't understand when people in here say things. There are at least five patients in here who are also suffering from supernaturally inflicted trauma and not actual psychological illnesses. Of course, the doctor was not happy that I took their side and tried to defend them in group therapy yesterday."

"Well, try to keep a low profile, would you? I don't want to be found out, and you don't want to be carted off and dissected by scientists trying to figure out what sort of supernatural oddity you are."

"I don't think you'll let that happen. I trust you, Meg," Castiel said with such sincerity, she was almost taken aback.

"And why would you do a stupid thing like that?"

"Because you stayed when no one else did. Sam and Dean, they are people I considered to be friends, and they left. Of course, I understand why, I did let the Leviathans loose, and I broke Sam's wall. Dean was very angry about that." He looked sad now, but quickly shook it off. "But you stayed, and I am very grateful for that."

"You do realize that I can hand you over to the Leviathans any time I want to, in order to save my own skin, right?" Meg asked incredulously, unable to fathom how this angel could actually trust her. Maybe he was far more insane than she had thought. But then, he was right, Sam and Dean had pretty much abandoned him. Even if he said he understood, it probably still hurt that the only friends he had ever had abandoned him when he needed them the most. And yeah, that sounded like the Winchesters. Too busy saving their own asses to care about anyone else. She had thought of calling them with the news that Cas was awake, if not totally with it, but figured they had other problems on their hands, and actually, as long as the Leviathans had them to worry about, the big mouths at least probably wouldn't come knocking. Let the Winchesters run interference for a little bit longer.

Castiel ignored her threat, standing up and grabbing his trench coat that he had kept with him since Dean had given it back to him. Thankfully, he had mojoed it clean so that it no longer had the blood and Leviathan ick on it. But it still made him look like some insane Doctor Who reject wandering around the hospital while wearing it over top of his scrubs.

"Can we go outside again?" he asked eagerly. "I very much enjoyed my time in the gardens yesterday."

"Pills first, then we'll see," Meg told him firmly.

Castiel gave her what could almost be a petulant expression, but he swallowed the pills and handed her the cup. "Now can we go outside?"

Meg sighed. "Fine."

Castiel grinned and there was just something about seeing the happiness on his face that made something deep inside of her stir in an uncomfortable, unwanted way.

But she would figure out her annoying feelings later, right now she had better catch up to her wayward angel who was already halfway out the door.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Meg forced Castiel to eat breakfast first, even though he continually insisted he didn't need to eat and it didn't taste 'pleasurable' but he finally ate a pancake and some fruit under her supervision. After that, she consented to take him outside if only because she knew he wouldn't stop asking if she didn't.

The morning sun felt nice after so much time being cooped up in the mental ward, even Meg had to admit that, and she could see why Cas liked it so much. The hospital gardens were nice too, if you like that sort of thing. A lot of trees and flowers that the patients got to help plant and take care of as therapy. Castiel went to the pond first today, and knelt in the damp grass surrounding it as he bent to look at the fish.

"Don't fall in," Meg warned as he touched a lily pad and smiled at the koi fish swimming happily through the rays of sunlight.

"They are so carefree," Castiel remarked. "Especially here since they do not have to worry about the predators they would in the wild. I suppose it is rather like everyone else here. This place is truly a sanctuary away from the world." Meg frowned at his back. She didn't like it when Castiel waxed philosophic. It wasn't a good look on him. He looked back up at her over his shoulder. "Do you have any bread to feed them?"

"No, you should have brought them the rest of your pancake," Meg told him, folding her arms over her chest. "Look, I'm going to go sit on that bench. Don't run away."

He didn't give any indication that he heard her, simply going back to watching the fish, dipping his hand into the water, and wetting his trench coat sleeve. Meg sighed and made her way over to a shady bench that sat under the trees. There were hardly any other people in the garden this time of day. Usually, the patients had a specified time when they were allowed outside, but Meg had taken to ignoring that for the most part. It was hard enough keeping Castiel occupied without having restrictions. No one really took notice anyway. Anything was better than him using his mojo as entertainment, which she was sure he would do eventually.

Just as she was thinking that, her attention was pulled away from Castiel to a man who was standing off to one side of the garden among the trees, looking like he was watching Castiel as well. Meg frowned. He was wearing street clothes so he couldn't be a patient or staff member. She thought maybe he was a visitor, but then he looked over at Meg and smiled, and she instantly recognized his demonic presence.

"Damn," she muttered, standing up and going over to him, with one last glance toward Cas to make sure he hadn't noticed the visitor.

"Well, well, well," the demon said with a smirk when Meg was within hearing distance. "Look at you. It's almost pathetic."

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, glaring up at him. His meatsuit was at least two heads taller than her and broad, probably some athletic type. But that didn't mean Meg couldn't take him if she had to. She had an angel blade tucked into her jacket for just such eventualities.

"Oh, just checking in," the demon shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Heard a couple rumors that you were still hanging around here for some reason, even though we know Sam Winchester is gone. Heard a few rumors about him too—said he was going crazy and is now miraculously better." The demon's eyebrows rose suggestively at the implication of that. "So I thought I'd see what was up, and lo and behold, I get here and find the angel that Crowley was so sure was dead."

Meg narrowed her gaze at him, shifting into a defensive position. "Yeah, so? Surprise, Castiel is still alive. It must be a product of hanging out with the Winchesters for so long. You know they're harder to kill than cockroaches."

The demon smirked. "How he's alive is of little consequence. I was put on the trail of a miracle healer a few weeks back, but heard he had disappeared with a trail of dead demons in his wake. And now I hear that Sam Winchester is suddenly all well again, and that you were hanging around a mental ward for some unknown reason. Now it makes sense."

Meg shook her head. "Sorry, bucko, I got here first. The angel's mine. He's my safe guard in case the Levis show up."

"Come on, Meg," the demon cajoled. "You can't enjoy being here. What do you say we both take the little pigeon back to Crowley now before others show up? That way we only have to split the reward fifty-fifty without cutting anyone else in."

Meg laughed scathingly. "Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not going anywhere near Crowley, and you should know that anyone who tries to deal with him in screwed. The angel is mine, I got here first."

The demon suddenly crowded her, pushing her up against a tree. "What's to stop me from simply killing you and taking him?"

Meg quickly retrieved the angel blade from her coat and pressed it threateningly into the demon's gut as she smiled up at him. "Maybe because I have a bigger blade."

She ducked around him and slammed him back against the tree, pressing the blade to his throat. "Like I said, the angel's mine. You tell that to any demon who thinks about coming around. If they do, I'll have a not-so-nice surprise waiting for them. And really, Castiel has taken quite a liking to me. What do you think he'd do to you right now if I were to scream?" She leaned in close to the demon. "Don't think you want a smiting to happen, do you?"

He smirked down at her, despite the blade at his throat. "Way I heard it, he doesn't have all his marbles."

"Maybe not, but he still has his mojo," Meg informed him. "And that's all I need him for."

The demon was still smirking, but he shrugged and raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, then, I get it, the angel is yours. But don't expect Crowley not to kill you if he eventually tracks you down himself. And he will, especially when I tell him the rumors are true. Castiel can't protect you forever."

Meg grinned. "Sweetheart, I never expect anything. How do you think I've survived this long?"

She shoved him away from her, keeping her blade pointed in his direction as he turned and walked off of the hospital grounds. Meg exhaled slowly, in relief. That had been too close for comfort. This wasn't good. If demons had gotten wind of her being holed up her with Castiel, then there was only a matter of time before more showed up, and possibly worse things, as demons weren't exactly the most tight lipped creatures in existence. There was any number of supernatural creatures that would jump at the chance to lay their hands on a broken, essentially defenseless, angel. She had known Castiel would eventually become a target, but had hoped the situation would hold out a little longer than this—preferably after Sam and Dean figured out a way to gank Dick Roman and come back to claim their angel. Maybe she should call the Winchesters after all, see if they had somewhere she could take Cas to hole up for a while.

But then, she could handle a few demons—they were demons for hell's sake. Easily manipulated, and for the most part, stupid. Some, like herself, of course, were exceptions. She didn't get to be one of Lucifer's favorites for nothing. If angels or Levis showed up, though, all bets were off and she and the feather duster would be hauling ass for the nearest safe house.

Meg turned around to see what her angel was doing now, and had a sudden moment of panic when she didn't see him. He wasn't by the pond anymore, in fact, he was nowhere in her direct eye line. Meg hurried out of the shaded area, getting more and more worried when she didn't see Cas in any of his favorite spots.

"Castiel!" she called. "Come on, Cas, don't do this to me, I'm not up for a game of hide and seek!"

Of course, there was the possibility that the demon had not been alone and while he distracted Meg, others had come and kidnapped Castiel, but she was going to deny that theory until she knew if it were true or not.

She spun around several more times, and was about to call hospital security, or even the Winchesters for the little either party would be able to do, when she caught sight of the tan trench coat peeking out from behind the low garden wall. Meg huffed a sigh of relief and ran over to where Castiel was sitting cross-legged in the grass, nose almost buried in the flowers. He had a peaceful expression on his face, making Meg even more angry at her own short-lived fear.

"Castiel! What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "I told you not to wander off." Yeah, she was definitely getting a leash the next time.

Castiel looked up at her with those bright blue eyes, which she refused to let stamp out her anger, even though they were doing a damn good job of it. "I was following this honeybee. They are truly fascinating creatures. Have you ever actually sat and watched one?" He motioned to the fat little insect buzzing around a patch of petunias.

"I haven't exactly had the time, Cas," Meg grunted.

"Oh!" he exclaimed and before she knew it, he had grabbed her hand and pulled her down next to him. Meg stiffened at the contact, feeling a buzz of his grace against her skin, but it was only initial and Cas had let go of her hand after a few seconds anyway. She shook herself, as he pointed to the bee.

"They have a very intricate pattern, you know," he told her. "Once a bee learns where the best flowers are, they can even go back to the hive and give the other bees directions by doing a dance. Their song is beautiful." He reached out and captured the bee in his cupped hands, lowering his ear to it with a smile before he held his hands out to Meg. "Listen."

She rolled her eyes but bent to listen to the stupid bee song. Castiel must have been insane, because all she could hear was buzzing, and probably angry buzzing at that because it was caught in the angel's hands.

"I can't hear any singing, Cas," she informed the angel. "Now let it go before it stings you."

He smiled as he let the bee free once again. "You should take the time to enjoy the simple things in life, Meg. It has been many decades since I have been able to do so and I almost forgot how peaceful it was." He reached up to touch a butterfly and it lighted on his finger. A sad, distant look came over his face. "Seeing so much war, so much bad, I never realized the toll it took on me. I think it might be best if, from now on, I simply stick to watching the bees. It is certainly a much more pleasant pastime."

Meg stared at him for a long moment. She didn't know what to do with melancholy Cas. It reminded her too much of what she could become if she allowed herself to dwell on the past, or even the future too much. Meg had long since decided to live for the present. It was the only way to stay alive, to keep going. It had been for so long that she wasn't sure she ever could just sit back and relax. She almost envied Castiel that.

"Well, you just enjoy your happy hippy pastimes, Clarence," Meg told him. "I've got other things to worry about." She stood and dusted off her clothes. "Come on, it's time to go back inside."

Castiel looked slightly disappointed, but he got to his feet as well.

"Oh, I almost forgot," he said and reached into the pocket of his coat, pulling out a red rose and smiling almost shyly as he handed it to her. "This is for you."

Meg raised an eyebrow. "You start giving me flowers and the hospital staff are going to talk."

He simply reached forward and tucked it into her jacket pocket. "It reminded me of you. Beautiful, elegant, yet not without its thorns." Castiel quickly amended that. "Not that that's a bad thing. The rose's thorns are there for defense and not offence." Those eyes were staring at her in the way they did when she knew he was looking inside of her, at her true self, and it always made her uncomfortable. "A sort of tragic beauty."

"I'm not into poetry, Clarence," Meg told him, narrowing her eyes. "Now come on."

He followed her dutifully back inside and Meg left him in the day room, hoping he would find something to occupy himself as she did a quick sweep of the hospital for any other sign of demons. Unfortunately, she couldn't ward against them without keeping herself out too, but she'd just have to keep extra vigilant.

A full sweep of the hospital and no sign of demons—that was a good thing. She relaxed a little after that, hoping that the demon from the garden had been a one-time occurrence. Of course, she wasn't that stupid. She hadn't survived this long without being cautious and smart. And this time, she didn't just have herself to look after but a crazy angel who seemed to have turned to the side of peace, love, and whatever. At this point, she wasn't even sure how much good he would do if it came to fighting. He would probably try to get the demons to watch the bees with him, and they would tear him apart. Or take him to Crowley and then the King of Hell would be more than delighted to torture Castiel for info if not just for fun, after their partnership had gone south. Meg suddenly thought of Castiel crying out in his sleep when he had nightmares about Lucifer tormenting him, and the thought of the creative ways Crowley would torture him left a sour taste in her mouth. Okay, she wasn't exactly attached to the feather duster by any stretch of the imagination, she just…Meg wasn't sure what she was. She only knew she was growing continually disgusted with herself for her indecisive feelings toward the angel. She couldn't wait to return him to the custody of the Winchesters.

It wouldn't make it any better to dwell on it, though. Cas was only there as a failsafe if the Leviathans showed up and she didn't think that was all that likely. And by the time Dick was back in Purgatory, the Winchesters would probably be back to claim their angel, and Meg would be long gone, back to doing what she did best—lying low.

She forced all those conflicting thoughts away again, and went to grab some coffee. While she was in the staff room, she happened to look down and realized the rose was still in her pocket. She snorted, and almost threw it away, but as she plucked it out, she hesitated and dropped it into a cup of water instead, refusing to think anything of the why of her action.

Now, she had to think of how she was going to keep Castiel entertained for the rest of the afternoon.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Meg somehow managed to get through the rest of the day without losing Castiel anywhere, as he was surprisingly occupied in the dayroom, learning how to play Monopoly from the schizophrenic Mrs. Cleary and then there was group therapy before dinner where Meg had to force him to eat again. But she had gotten the time that afternoon to check the whole hospital for any signs of demons, or possessions. So far all the doctors and nurses were clean, and she was pretty sure the same went for the patients. She was able to finish checking up on them during dinner time. That being said, it didn't make her feel much better about seeing the demon in the gardens that morning. She knew he wasn't going to leave her alone and kind of regretted not killing him when she had the chance.

Castiel offered her a dorky smile as she met up with him at dinner, seeming pleased to see her as if she had been gone for a lot longer than a couple hours.

"What are you so happy about? Can't be the mystery meat casserole." She wrinkled her nose at the unidentifiable slop on the angel's plate.

"Did you have a pleasant day, Meg?" he asked her, motioning for her to sit beside him, which she didn't. "I learned how to play a new game. I wasn't very good at it, but I'm still learning. Oh! I also got to paint today. I tried to put the flowers onto the paper but they were not so beautiful as they are outside."

"That's nice, Clarence," Meg said, feeling like a mother who had just picked up a child from kindergarten. "Maybe we can send the picture to Sam and Dean and they can put it on their fridge."

"They do not have a refrigerator of their own, just an icebox," Cas frowned thoughtfully. "I don't think Dean appreciates flowers in the same way I do."

"Well, they never really had the chance to stop and smell the roses," Meg told him.

"I think they should, it is a very informative venture," Castiel said as he poked cautiously at his meal. "Must I eat this?"

Meg almost smirked but refrained. "I guess it might possibly do you more harm than good. Maybe you should skip it." She checked her watch. "My shift ends in fifteen minutes. Be good and let the night nurse tuck you in and I'll be back later."

His face fell slightly, but he nodded. "Can you tell me a story tonight?" he asked hopefully.

Meg huffed. "I already told you I wasn't going to tell you a story, Clarence. Why don't you get a book and read for yourself? Now I have to go."

She turned around before she could see the disappointment on his face. Hell, that angel was worse than a puppy with those eyes. Trying her best to ignore him, she went to grab her stuff from the break room and Dawn waved goodbye to her as Meg fished her keys out of her bag.

She looked around cautiously as she got out to the parking lot, making sure no one was waiting there, ready to jump her, but made it to her truck successfully. She usually drove down to the local gas station in town to pick up a newspaper to check up on what Dick Roman was getting himself into. Try to spot anything the Winchesters might have had a hand in. Unfortunately, they hadn't ganked the daddy bigmouth yet but she was still hoping it would be sooner rather than later.

She chuckled as she sat in her truck and read the paper while she waited for all the shift nurses to leave and trade places with the fewer night nurses and hall guards. It looked like the FBI were still looking for Sam and Dean's doppelgangers. Well, at least that meant they hadn't been caught yet. She wondered vaguely why no one was looking for Castiel. He'd killed more than the Winchesters' Levi twins when he had gone on his "Godstiel" rampage. But then, she figured that corrupt leaders and motivational speakers weren't exactly on anyone's priority list and had been forgotten once Dick's people had started killing more innocent bystanders.

Still, that was another thing she had to worry about. Which is why she only hoped Cas would keep a low profile. The last thing they needed was the FBI showing up on top of all their other problems.

She checked the time and drove back to the hospital where she parked out back and went in a side entrance that was closer to the rooms. The hospital was always quiet at night (when the more vocal inmates weren't screaming, that was) but tonight something just seemed too quiet. A shiver went unbidden down her spine as she locked the door behind her and headed toward Castiel's room.

When she got there it didn't help her unease any to see that the door was ajar.

"Castiel?" Meg called, peeking in the door. She frowned as she saw the room was empty. Where had that idiot gotten to now? She sighed tiredly as she turned around.

"Castiel?" she called quietly down the hall so as not to wake the other patients. She made her way to the day room where she figured she was most likely to find the angel, but stopped before she reached the door. Something was definitely wrong. She slipped her hand into her jacket and grasped the hilt of the angel blade she kept there at all times.

The sound of muffled voices was coming from the room and Meg crept forward cautiously, wondering if maybe one of the other nurses on night duty had found Cas first. But no, she realized soon enough that they weren't going to be that lucky.

As she reached the door and peeked into the window she knew she had been right.

Three large demons—one of which was her friend from the garden and the other two wearing the night nurses—had Castiel backed against the wall. One had a hand wrapped around his arm, and the one she had met before had an angel blade of his own, gesturing threateningly toward the angel with it. And for some reason Cas wasn't smiting or fighting back at all, the idiot.

"Damn," Meg breathed as the lead demon raised his voice.

"Just come quietly, angel, and we won't hurt you…much."

"I don't want to fight you. I don't fight anymore." Castiel tried to explain to them, his hands held out in front of him. "But I don't want to leave with you, I like it here. I think it would be better if we all sat down and played a game of Monopoly, don't you? It's a very fun game; I can teach you to play if you don't know how."

Meg wanted to smack her head against the wall. He really was cracked. However, this remark caused the demon to lose patience with Cas and he hit him across the face with the pommel of the angel blade. Cas' surprised yelp of pain made something burn deep inside Meg and she finally thrust the door open, striding in.

"Hey, what part of my angel did you not understand, jackass?" she demanded.

The three demons turned around to look at her. The lead demon smiled as the other two manhandled Castiel into a chair and forced him to sit still. One held an angel blade to his throat.

"Meg," Cas said, looking desperate. "I don't want to go with them."

"Don't worry, Cas, you're not going anywhere," Meg told him, her eyes never leaving the demon in front of her. His grin widened.

"She's lying to you, Cas," he sneered. "You'll be coming with us, as soon as Nursey here is dead."

Castiel's eyes blazed, and he struggled in the demons' grip. "No! Do not hurt Meg!" He cried out as the angel blade cut into the side of his neck as the demons forced him back in his chair.

"I can take care of myself," Meg growled at him, now that it looked like Castiel had decided he was a noncombatant. She squared up to the demon in front of her. "Like I said, beefcake, the angel's mine, and you're not going to take him anywhere, 'kay?"

"And you think you can stop me? You, against the three of us?"

Meg smiled, cocking an eyebrow. "Please, I've had way worse odds and come out on top." She lashed out at him without warning, slicing the angel blade across the demon's ribs. He staggered back with a surprised shout, and Meg took the opportunity to force him back further.

"Come on," Meg cajoled. "He's just one little angel. There's hundreds more where he comes from, ones without their brains scrambled. Besides," she ducked a swipe of the other demon's blade and thrust again with her own. "You take the Winchesters' pet angel and they'll be on your ass before you can smoke out—and you know the track record they have with demons."

The demon sneered. "I'll take my chances. Crowley has offered many rewards to whoever brings him Castiel."

Meg laughed in his face, locking their blades before she kicked him away from her. "Right. Because Crowley always makes good on his promises."

"You know," the demon commented, as he snaked past her defenses and grabbed her wrist so that her blade was immobilized. "I bet he wouldn't mind having you to sweeten the pot too. Then you can have front row seats when Crowley tortures your poor little lovebird."

He twisted Meg's wrist until she was forced to drop the blade with a snarl, then grabbed her around the throat instead, slamming her against the wall. Meg met his eyes with a smile, even though she was getting more an more anxious. Crowley was the last person she wanted to cross paths with right now, knowing well enough what would happen to both her and Castiel if they were to fall into his clutches. She could hear Cas struggling against the other demons, but she wasn't going to look over at him and get distracted.

"I'm sure Crowley would be tickled pink to see me too, but it ain't gonna happen, hot stuff."

The demon leered. "Well, then, I suppose there's no reason to keep you alive, is there?"

Before he could raise his blade, there were two sudden screams and a loud sparking sound. Meg, surprised, looked over to see Cas standing over the two demons who were now lying burned out on the floor.

The one who held Meg, hesitated only a second before he made to put the blade through Meg's throat.

He never got the change though, because Castiel was suddenly across the room and grabbing the blade with his bare hands to force it away from Meg.

"Don't hurt her!" he shouted, pushing the demon backward and slamming a bloody hand against his forehead to smite him. The demon screamed and burned out, slumping to the ground, lifeless.

Castiel swayed slightly after that and Meg hurried forward to steady him. He turned to her with nothing but concern in his eyes.

"Meg, did he hurt you?" he asked, touching her throat gently but only resulted in getting his own blood on her. "Oh," he said, frowning, as if just realizing he was injured.

She batted his hand away. "I'm fine, get off me." She bent to retrieve both dropped angel blades and stowed them in her coat. "What the hell were you thinking running off with demons?"

He looked more indignant than chastened. "They took me out of the room. When I said I didn't want to go, they threatened me. I do not want to see Crowley. He would not be very happy that I betrayed him."

"Don't worry, I don't want to see him either," Meg assured him then looked at the bodies with a sigh. "Come on, you need to get back to your room before anyone sees you here. It wouldn't do for them to think you're a murderer on top of a crazy delusional angel."

Castiel complied, allowing her to lead him back by his elbow. "I did not mean to kill those nurses. They were not bad men."

"They were demons when you killed them, you couldn't help that," Meg said as they reached his door. She pushed him inside and made him sit down on the cot. "Now shut up about the killing stuff. I'll get rid of the bodies and be back as soon as I can."

Meg hurried back to the day room and groaned at the work ahead of her. At least with the smiting there was no blood to clean up apart from a little that Cas dripped onto the floor from his hands. That idiot; grabbing a blade barehanded to save her. Not that she wasn't a little grateful, she supposed.

After Meg had finished disposing of the demons' bodies—wrapped in a tarp in the back of her truck; she could deal with them better later—she came back to Cas' room to see him sitting right where she had left him on the bed. He was staring down at his bleeding palms, watching the blood drip onto the floor. She cursed, hurrying into the room.

"Cas, why aren't you healing yourself?" she demanded.

He looked up at her almost apologetically. "Angel blade wounds take longer to heal. And my grace is all wobbly, sometimes it doesn't do what I tell it to."

"You just smote three demons!"

Cas shrugged but didn't offer an explanation. He watched more blood drip onto the floor before he returned his gaze to her. "It's rather uncomfortable."

Meg sighed and felt some of the frustration leave her. "Alright, sit tight. I'll get some bandages." She rummaged through the medical supply closet and found some gauze and medical tape, hoping that would be enough to stop the bleeding until he was able to heal himself.

He was still in the same position when she got back but looked grateful and offered her a small smile.

"I should thank you for saving me," he said quietly.

Meg swallowed hard. "Well, you returned the favor. I guess that makes us even. Scoot." She pushed him to one side and he sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed while she draped a towel over his lap to rest his hands on. She took her position beside him, taking one of his hands and cleaning the blood from it. The wounds were deeper than she had thought, but hopefully he would still heal faster than a human and she wouldn't need to add stitches. Still, she closed the wound with a couple butterfly bandages.

Cas hissed and tried to pull away. "Stop squirming," she snapped.

"It hurts," he said miserably looking like a freaking five-year-old.

"Well, you're the one who thought it was a good idea to grab an angel blade with your bare hands."

"That demon would have killed you," Cas said matter-of-factly. "I would have missed you if you were killed."

Meg felt that strange warmth well up inside of her again but she hid any warm fuzzies with a derisive smile. "You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Clarence."

Cas smiled gently at her as she finished bandaging one hand and went on to the other. She cleaned the cut to his neck last, but it was only superficial and was already scabbing over. By the time they were done, Castiel was starting to look exhausted, his shoulders slumping and his eyes tired. Maybe the smiting had taken more out of him in his 'wobbly' state than she had thought.

"Alright, bedtime for little angels," Meg told him as she cleaned up the medical supplies and made to get up.

Castiel grabbed her hand though, as well as he could with his bandaged mitt, and stopped her. "Please don't leave."

She stared down at him with some annoyance. "Castiel, we've been through this. I'll be back in a minute." But of course she wasn't going to leave him alone tonight. Not when there could be more demons out to nab him.

He still pulled insistently. "Stay on the bed. Your presence is very comforting."

"Oh hell," Meg groaned as she looked down at his pleading eyes and finally consented if only because she was sick to death of sitting in that horribly uncomfortable chair. Not that the rickety old cot was any better. She shoved the medical supplies under the bed and pulled herself up to rest against the headboard. She reached over to grab one of her magazines from the chair to pass the time and sighed. "Alright, I'm here, now go to sleep."

Cas lay down on his side, facing her and closed his eyes. She tried to ignore the wiggling he was doing until it seemed like he was only getting closer to her. Meg looked down at him and raised an eyebrow, but he obviously wasn't satisfied yet, as he then curled up flush against her, resting his cheek against her stomach. Meg stiffened, unsure of what to do with this.

"Seriously?" she demanded. "You're going to cuddle me all night whether I like it or not?"

The blue eyes slit open to stare up at her. "Are you uncomfortable? Am I violating your personal space?" he asked, a worried frown appearing between his brows. "I know it's important to avoid that, but you are soft and warm, and having you here makes me feel safe. I would rather not have the bad dreams come tonight."

That admission softened her a bit. It was hard to refuse the angel seemingly turned kitten when he wasn't really asking for much. She had to admit that she didn't really mind this kind of physical contact, even if it were sickeningly sweet and kind of made her want to vomit at the same time. Still, Cas had gone through a traumatic experience that night and in his condition, maybe this is what he needed to feel safe.

"Whatever, Clarence," she told him and slumped further down into the bed so she could wrap an arm around his shoulders. This close to him, she could feel his grace, a life force that was the exact opposite of hers, and yet for some reason, he trusted her this close to him. She swallowed hard.

"Are you comfortable?" Castiel asked her.

Meg huffed in contrived annoyance. "Just shut up and go to sleep."

Cas snuggled against her more, a smile on his lips. "Goodnight, Meg."

He was asleep almost instantly after that, and Meg cautiously brought a hand up and stroked it through his dark, tussled hair.

"Goodnight, Clarence."

Meg didn't get any rest though. She had way too much on her mind. She knew the demons had only been the beginning. Now she just wondered what would be coming next.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Meg extricated herself from Castiel as carefully as possible so as not to wake him and checked his injuries. They had healed to all but a couple scars on each palm, so she took the bandages off to avoid questions from the doctors that day. Then she quickly slipped out of the hospital and headed out to find a place to dump the bodies.

By the time she got back for her appointed shift, she was almost late, but she had gotten rid of all evidence of the demon attack the night before. Unfortunately, that also meant the bodies of the two night shift nurses.

When she went to put her stuff away in the back room, Dawn greeted her from where she was drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey, did you hear that Jerry and David went missing last night?" Dawn asked.

Meg mentally cursed. Of course their 'disappearances' would have been discovered by now. She put on an innocent look. "No, I just got here. What happened?"

Dawn shrugged. "Don't know. They weren't here when the shift changed and I guess they didn't clock out. It might be nothing serious, but still. It's kinda weird." She took another sip of coffee. "Castiel was asking for you first thing. I think he probably overheard some of the doctors talking and wants to make sure you didn't go missing too." She winked.

Meg narrowed her eyes. "I'll check on him. I hope they find the nurses." Or not.

She went to Castiel's room where he was sitting at the table against one wall, staring at his tray of breakfast. He looked up with some relief to see Meg.

"You're here," he said and smiled. "I was worried there might be more demons."

"If there were, I'm sure you would smite them too," Meg told him, leaning her hip against the table. "And do us both a favor and don't talk about the missing nurses to anyone."

Castiel looked down at his plate. "I wish I hadn't had to kill them."

"Hey, don't go soft on me as well as crazy," Meg told him, slapping his shoulder. "We may have worse things to go up against later. We can only hope that these demons weren't stupid enough to tell any of their friends. Although considering they would have already been splitting the reward money three ways, probably not."

"Can we go to the garden again today?" Cas asked suddenly as if wanting to change the subject. "Or perhaps we can play more board games."

Meg sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "Fine, but finish your breakfast and take your pills. Like I said, we're trying to keep a low profile."

"Of course," Cas said and picked up his fork. "I do like pancakes more than the meal last night."

Meg smiled. "Well, maybe you're not completely crazy after all."

She took him out to the garden with some of the other patients after breakfast where they worked on planting some new flowers in a freshly made patch. Castiel enjoyed it, despite the fact he got completely dirty while doing so, and it kept him occupied enough for Meg to take a quick turn of the gardens to make sure there were no other lurkers. Again, she wished she could demon-proof without hampering herself but that was out of the question.

She could start collecting cleaning supplies with borax for if any Leviathans showed up though, since angel blades or smiting wouldn't work on them. Of course if the big mouths did show up, it would probably be best just to run. Meg was wondering if she shouldn't just pack up Castiel now and take him somewhere safer.

She wandered back over to the garden patch as Cas and the others were finishing their planting and Cas looked up at her with his typical smile of greeting that made him look far more attractive than any crazy angel had the right to be, damn him.

"Meg, we just finished planting this butterfly garden. These are all flowers they find particularly appealing." He looked to one side as a bee buzzed into view, scoping out the new flowers and Castiel smiled at it fondly. "The honeybees too will be able to have more nectar to turn into honey." He bent toward the bee and got so close Meg was certain he would get stung on the nose, but of course, the bee simply looked at Castiel and buzzed as if holding a conversation. Cas nodded as if he had understood exactly what the bee had said. "Yes, the bees are definitely pleased."

Meg shook her head. "Alright, well, if you're done being the next Disney princess it's probably time to get you inside and cleaned up." He had somehow even managed to get dirt in his hair. Meg wondered not for the first time, how a big, bad, angel of the Lord could look so much like a kindergartener.

He stood and attempted to brush the dirt off of his white scrubs, but only managed to leave smears. Meg rolled her eyes as she led him back inside.

"Meg, will you play a game with me now?"

She looked over at him and saw with little surprise that he had mojo'd himself clean. "You know, Castiel, I do have a job here. I can't just sit around and play board games and talk to bees all day." She looked around and lowered her voice. "Besides, I have to keep a lookout in case any more baddies come a-knocking. Why don't you ask Mrs. Cleary to play Monopoly with you again?"

"Mrs. Cleary is not always in the mood to play a game," Castiel said and turned to look her in the eyes. "I would like you to play with me, Meg."

And she thought Sam Winchester had the puppy-dog eyes. She bit back a sigh. "Alright, but I have to get some work done first or they might fire me and then who would play with you?"

Castiel smiled and she dropped him off in the day room before she went to do some of her other duties. Meg wondered, not for the first time, why on earth she was even bothering to do this. It might have had something to do with how Cas looked at her like she was someone who was worth having around. Someone he wanted around. And sure, he was crazy, but she would take that where she could get it. It wasn't like she'd had a ton of fans over the long years she had been a demon. Her mind flashed back to Cas asking her to stay with him last night, comfortable enough to sleep beside her without being afraid that she would hurt him even though they were mortal enemies. Maybe being wanted wasn't such a bad thing, even if she was mostly just doing the duty of a security blanket at the moment.

She came back to the day room a couple hours later to find Cas sitting where she had left him, sketching flowers on a pad of paper.

"Nice work, Van Gough," Meg commented, looking over his shoulder. She wasn't being facetious, either; he really was a rather surprisingly good artist.

Castiel smiled but didn't look up from the paper. "Capturing the true essence of living things on paper is nearly impossible, but it is enjoyable to try. I see why humans like to do artwork. I was always interested to see what the great artists would come up with, even if the other angels didn't seem to care."

Meg sat down across from him and watched as his pencil created deft lines across the paper, forming stems and petals, capturing even the veins in the leaves. There was even a bee hovering over one of the flowers.

"Have you found any other signs of demons?" Castiel asked her after a moment.

Meg shook her head. "Nope, seems clean for now."

He drew for a few more minutes before asking, "Meg, what will happen if more demons come? Or Leviathans?"

Okay, she could deal with lucid conversation. "We'll do what we can, and if we can't take them out we'll run."

"I may not be able to smite them. I believe that was a lucky occurrence last night."

"Well, you do what you can and I'll clean up the mess you leave behind," Meg told him. "But hopefully, we won't have to."

He nodded but looked somewhat unsettled, shading the underside of a petal before he set the pencil down on top of the paper.

"I don't want to fight anymore," he said softly.

Meg narrowed her eyes at him, watching as he fiddled with the pencil. "What? Like it or not, Clarence, we're in the middle of a war, in case you haven't noticed. Now isn't exactly the time to go Gandhi on me."

He looked up at her and she was somewhat taken aback to see the pain in his eyes. "The Leviathans, all of this, is my fault because I fought a war I thought I could win—and I did, but at great cost to, well, everyone. And I betrayed people I cared about—my friends…my family." His eyes squinched up at the sides, and his mouth turned down. "I think it's best I don't fight anymore. I am much better at watching the bees."

Meg wasn't sure what to reply to that; she certainly hadn't expected it, either the sentiments or the clarity of them from her crazy angel. But she could kind of see where he was coming from. She didn't know all the details but it seemed like Castiel had royally screwed up with the war in heaven. Obviously, his working with Crowley hadn't exactly been a highlight, but she did enjoy the thought of Castiel leaving the self-professed King of Hell in the lurch when he no longer needed him. But Cas had done what he had thought he had to do; Meg knew what that was like. How many questionable things had she done in the name of Lucifer? Of course, being a demon typically left her free of the guilt Castiel was suffering from. He had been hanging out with those self-flagellating Winchesters for too long.

"Well, I'll do the fighting for now, as long as you'll step in if I need the backup," Meg told him finally.

Castiel smiled. "Don't worry, Meg. I'll protect you."

She was sure her cheeks heated up at that, though from discomfort or annoyance, she wasn't sure. Of course she was self-professedly using Castiel as protection, but she didn't need him to acknowledge that.

Castiel stood up and reached over to another table, plucking up a game box and showing it to her. Meg frowned slightly as she saw that it was the game Sorry.

"I would like to learn this one, would you teach me?" Cas asked her, taking the lid off and pulling the board out.

Meg cleared her throat and forced a small smile. "Sure, why not?" She helped him set it up and explained the rules. Somehow Castiel managed to win even though it didn't look like he was paying too much attention.

"Seriously?" She raised an eyebrow.

Cas smiled. "I enjoyed that game." He then seemed to sober and his gaze got so intense Meg began to shift uncomfortably in her seat.

"Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.

He blinked and his eyes lost their intensity. "Meg, may I draw you?"

She looked up at him in surprise, cocking an eyebrow at the unexpected change of conversation. "What? Like one of your French girls?"

He cocked his head to one side in that confused bird look. "I don't have any French girls. I thought you would make a good subject for a portrait. You have so many layers."

Meg sighed and shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat, Clarence."

He cocked his head again. "I don't think it will float a boat."

"Never mind, just do what you want," she grunted, putting the game pieces back into the box and setting it to one side.

Cas happily picked up his pencil, turned the page of his notebook and set to work. Meg browsed through several magazines that had been left on the table and didn't look up again until Cas spoke.

"I finished. Would you like to see?" he asked.

Meg braced herself for the angel's artwork and closed the magazine. "Sure, let's see it."

She wasn't sure what she had expected, but this certainly was not it. She reached out and took the paper in inexplicably trembling hands.

Her likeness had been sketched onto the paper, looking down and slightly away as she must have been from Cas' point of view, but the angel had somehow managed to superimpose her physical body, over…something else. The image of the human body she had taken was there at the forefront, but underneath there was a certain darkness that almost shown through her skin and that was wrapped in thorny rose briars. They culminated on the left side of her breast where her heart would be in a blooming rose that looked almost illuminated.

She just sat there staring at the picture for a long time, not sure what to say, or even how to feel about it.

"Do you like it?" Cas asked hesitantly, reminding her the angel was still there sitting across from her. "You don't like it." He decided after another few seconds of her speechlessness.

She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. "This…is this how you see me?"

Castiel smiled softly. "I did tell you that you were not all darkness inside." He looked at her as if he were once again looking into her true self. "There is a nobility in you, Meg. You may like to deny it, but it is true. Nobility, along with the thorny beauty, is what sets you apart from most demons. As I told you before, a rose can never be without its thorns, after all."

"I'm not much for poetry, Clarence," Meg told him, uncomfortable with his observation, and yet…maybe a bit flattered? Meg quickly dismissed that as an option. She was a demon, plain and simple, nobility was an unreachable goal for her. She had tried something like that when she had fought for Lucifer and she had quickly become disenchanted. But then…maybe Castiel of all people would actually be able to understand that. He too had fought for a cause once, and had turned away from it when it had no longer been what he had believed it to be. In reality, they weren't so much different at all. Maybe that was why Meg was so inexplicably attracted to him.

She was almost relieved when Dawn came in a minute later, beckoning her.

"Hey, Meg, can I get your help for a minute?" she asked.

Meg nodded to Castiel. "I'll be back later. Behave."

Her mind was far too cluttered for her own good for the rest of the day and she hated it. Even thought she kept busy, all she could think about was Castiel's stupid picture and how he saw her, and his admission that he didn't want to fight anymore. She had suspected he was more broken than he was letting on, but the thought that he literally blamed himself for everything, well…Meg decided she might have to work on that later. That one was probably the Winchesters' fault, especially Dean, since Cas had broken his precious baby brother's mental wall, never mind the fact that Cas had literally taken Sam's crazy and transferred it to himself. They hadn't actually been broken up to leave Cas there with her. The abandonment had to be weighing on the angel too, which made Meg feel oddly protective of him. In any case, she was thinking of way too many things, which confused her when she should have been concentrating on keeping an eye out for anything suspicious.

When she finally got done with her shift, she didn't have time to say goodbye to Cas because the head of the hospital gathered everyone together to ask if anyone knew what had happened to the nurses the night before. Meg played as innocent as possible and then was finally able to leave once everything had settled down. Hopefully, they wouldn't beef up security and make it impossible for her to get back in to Cas that night.

But everything was normal when she drove back just after midnight and she made her way to Castiel's room where she found him sitting cross-legged on the bed, reading a book—thankfully present and safe this time. He looked up without his typical smile in greeting, seeming relieved to see her.

"You're late," he accused.

"Gee, sorry," Meg scoffed, slumping down in the desk chair. "I was just stuck answering questions about the nurses you smote last night."

Castiel's face scrunched up in distaste at the mention of it. "I would rather not think of that. Would you read to me instead?"

Meg took a deep breath of patience and reached out to take the book from him. "Alright, a little bit, but at least try to sleep."

This got a little smile from Cas as he settled down on the bed, and pulled the blanket over himself. "Of course."

Meg never got the chance to start reading though. She had just barely flipped to the first page when the lights in the hallway outside started flickering and then the one in Castiel's room did the same. The angel sat up suddenly, his head cocked as if listening, a bemused expression on his face.

"Was that you?" Meg asked him hopefully, but was already reaching into her jacket for one of the angel blades. He shook his head.

"Other angels," Cas said, then frowned. "They seem…angry."

Meg's heart clenched in her chest and she was on her feet instantly, reaching out to grab Castiel's arm and drag him to his feet. "We need to go. Now!"

But it was already too late. The door to the room burst open, splitting at the hinges and causing Meg and Cas to shelter their faces from the flying splinters.

When they looked up again, three angels were standing in the doorway, blades drawn, and righteous anger on their faces.

"Crap," Meg breathed.

They were totally screwed now.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Meg would be the first to admit that angels hadn't exactly been on top of her list of worries, which, in retrospect, was really stupid. She had just held out the hope that maybe they would think Cas was dead, and wouldn't bother to come looking for the angel who they probably considered to be public enemy number one.

Castiel was standing next to her as the angels strode into the room, two dark-haired men, and a blond woman who turned a haughty glare at Meg, which the demon returned in full.

"Brothers, sister," Castiel greeted, with a confused expression on his face. "I don't understand, why are you here?"

"Castiel," one of the male angels said, his voice low and cold. "So the rumors are true; you are not dead after all."

Castiel smiled and shrugged, gesturing to himself. "No, I'm alive, as you can see, Elias. It is good to see you again, though—"

"Stop," the female snapped and stepped forward. "Do you know what you have done, Castiel?" she demanded.

Cas' eyes squinted slightly and his smile faded. "I—"

"You decimated Heaven!" she snarled. "You killed so many of our brothers and sisters and all because they wouldn't join you. Because of our loyalty to Raphael—an archangel who had more right to the rule of Heaven than you!"

"Oh, Sarah," Castiel said with almost a look of pity on his face. "You never did see what he was truly planning. I was only trying to save you. All of you. And then, I wasn't myself, and now I'm even less of myself." He shook his head. "But I am done fighting now. Now I just watch the bees."

"What are you talking about?" Sarah demanded, looking slightly confused by his rambling.

"Perspective," Castiel stated, smiling again. "In my convalescence I have finally had the time to think, and to truly enjoy the simple things. Like the poetry of a honeybee as it makes its way between the flowers. It is a perfect plan that needs nothing else added."

"Enough!" Elias cut in as Sarah still stared in confusion at Castiel. "You must pay for your crimes, Castiel. We will see to it if no one else will."

"Hold on," Meg said firmly, stepping slightly in front of her angel. "If you think I'm going to let you take Castiel away for execution or whatever, you're wrong."

"And what do you think you can do about it, demon filth?" Elias snarled, his face twisting into a sneer. "Your presence here just proves how far Castiel has fallen. Fraternizing with a demon. You disgust me."

"Hey, words hurt," Meg snapped, her grip tightening on the blade in her hand. "And you do know this is a hospital, right? Plenty of people to attract the attention of should you try anything too supernatural."

"We took the liberty of putting everyone else here into a deep sleep," said the third angel still standing by the door. "They won't know a thing."

Well, this is just going from bad to worse. Meg mentally catalogued their options of escape. She was coming up with zero and none. Unless Cas could beam them out of there.

"Come, Castiel," Sarah told him. "If you don't put up a fight, we might make it easy on you."

"Perhaps if we all sit and talk," Castiel suggested. "Maybe play a game? We may be able to come to a better conclusion than violence."

The three angels looked at each other before Elias seemed to have had enough.

"This is ridiculous. Have it your way then, Castiel, we will drag you back to Heaven if we have to."

He strode forward, and was about to grab Cas, who was stupidly just standing there, when Meg took action, striking out with the angel blade and slicing Elias across the forearm with it. He gasped in shock and stepped backwards, holding the wound with his other hand.

"How dare you?" Sarah snarled, drawing her own blade and turning her attention to Meg. "Where did you get that blade, you abomination?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Meg smiled sweetly at her before readying a strike.

She was never able to make contact because Sarah flung her backwards over the bed with her angel mojo, and Meg slammed into the wall hard, losing her grip on the blade and feeling the plaster crack against her back before she crumpled to the ground.

"Meg!" She heard Cas cry, followed by the sounds of a scuffle. "Please, let me go!"

Meg's sight cleared just in time to see Sarah in front of her, kicking the blade away from her reach before grabbing her by the front of her jacket and yanking her to her feet with her angel blade pressed under Meg's chin.

Castiel was being held in a similar position by the other angels and Meg swallowed hard, knowing this was likely the end of them.

"Please don't hurt her!" Cas was pleading, seeming overly distressed for Meg's sake. "It's me you want, leave Meg alone!"

Sarah scoffed in Meg's ear. "Don't tell me you're actually fond of this abomination," She pricked the underside of Meg's chin as she said it, forcing the demon onto her toes if she didn't want to be skewered.

"Meg is my friend, please," Cas pleaded.

"You're making this worse, Clarence," Meg hissed before the blade was pressed even more firmly against her throat.

"Shall I kill it?" Sarah asked hopefully. Meg hoped she got a chance to slam a blade into her throat.

"No!" Cas cried as he was forced into the chair and held down by the third angel.

Elias glanced between Meg and Castiel and finally shook his head. "No, we can use her. We need to know where the Winchesters are, and if Castiel is so fond of his demon whore, then she can be the leverage to get him to tell us."

"Sure, good luck with that, hot stuff," Meg tried smiling at Elias but he turned away in disgust. Angels. She remembered when Castiel was the same way. "Sam and Dean are in the wind. Castiel doesn't know where they are. No one does."

"Shut up," Sarah slammed the hilt of her blade into Meg's jaw, making stars appear behind her eyes again.

"What do you want with Sam and Dean?" Cas asked, eyes narrowing.

"Like you, they must pay for their crimes. This whole Leviathan fiasco," Elias said.

Cas shook his head adamantly. "No, it wasn't them; I let the Leviathans loose. That's my fault."

Elias shrugged, pulling out his own blade. "Does it matter? Hardly the only thing they've done. I'd rather have all of our problems go away at the same time."

"Don't we all," Meg muttered as she was maneuvered into another chair that Sarah positioned facing Castiel before the angel moved behind it with her blade still against Meg's throat.

"Now, here's how it's going to go, Castiel," Elias said, circling the angel and looking like he felt oh-so-powerful. Meg almost snorted. "You're going to tell us where your Winchester pets are, or we'll carve up your little demon girlfriend. And don't worry, we have plenty of time before the next shift of nurses comes in; enough time to get exactly what we need out of you."

"Yeah, and what if he does tell you?" Meg asked. "It's not like you're going to let us live."

"No, but you'll be rewarded with a swift death."

"Please, Elias, I haven't seen Sam and Dean, I haven't talked to them. I broke Sam's wall and they are very angry with me right now. Even though I tried to fix it." Castiel looked up at the other angel pleadingly, like a child hoping he would be understood. Meg's heart twisted painfully. She couldn't let these feathered dicks hurt Castiel. He didn't deserve that.

"Even if you don't know where they are right now, I bet you know how to find them." Elias pressed the tip of his angel blade up under Castiel's chin, raising his face to look him in the eye. "I bet they have a safe house somewhere too. Where is that?"

"I don't know," Cas pleaded.

"He doesn't know, you asshat," Meg snapped. "He didn't even remember who he was until a couple weeks ago and he's had his brain scrambled. Can't you tell he's off his rocker?"

Sarah hit her with the angel blade, and Meg's head snapped back with a gasp. Damn, that angel could pack a punch. Meg still thought she could take her, but she wasn't going to take the chance when Cas had a blade at his own throat.

"Crazy or not, he can give us the information we need," Elias said. He bent over Castiel and leaned in close, their faces only inches apart. "Now, Castiel. The Winchesters."

"I won't betray them," Cas said. "It's the least I can do after everything."

"Fine." Elias straightened and nodded to Sarah. Meg braced herself as the angel blade dug into the flesh beneath her collarbone and burned along her chest. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming, not wanting to give the angel that satisfaction.

"Again, Castiel. Where are the Winchesters?"

"Please, Elias…"

Sarah cut Meg across the face this time, before she started to slowly sink the blade into her shoulder. Meg gritted her teeth, but a soft groan escaped anyway.

"Stop hurting her!" Cas cried, struggling against the angels again.

"Tell us where the Winchesters are!"

"I don't know!"'

Meg screamed in shock as Sarah slid several more inches of blade into her shoulder. The lights flickered and Castiel almost surged from his chair but Elias and the other angel shoved him back down and pressed a blade to his throat. Meg was wondering if Cas' 'wobbly' grace would blow up at any minute.

"Stop hurting her, she's only been taking care of me," Castiel tried to appeal to them, even though Meg knew he was only succeeding in making it worse.

"This only proves my case," Elias sneered at him. "You, an angel of the Lord, needing a demon to care for you." He laughed bitterly. "And I thought rebelling and joining the Winchesters was bad, but you really do just keep falling farther, don't you?"

Meg gasped and slumped forward as Sarah ripped the blade out of her shoulder. Meg looked up at Cas to see the saddened expression on his face.

Elias wasn't done though. "Besides, do you really think this demon cares? She is only here for her own gain. To use you."

"That's not true, Cas," Meg ground out, before Sarah hit her across the face again.

Thankfully, Cas didn't seem to believe Elias anyway. He looked at Meg with a sad affection. "I am grateful for your care, Meg. I…I know I have done wrong," he added quietly, turning to Elias. "But I don't want to fight anymore. I am done with fighting. I just want to stop hurting the people I care about."

Elias was silent and for a moment, Meg actually though he might go easy on Cas. Take pity on him. Elias crouched down in front of him, but then started to sneer.

"Well, Castiel, never fear. You will not hurt anyone anymore. You have made your bed. And you are going to lie in it." He stood up and strode over to Meg, grabbing her by the throat and yanking her out of the chair. Meg gasped, and clawed at his hands as he slammed her against the wall.

"Elias stop!" Cas screamed, but the other angel was still holding him tightly and Sarah had gone over to join him.

"You know why the people you care about always get hurt, Castiel?" Elias asked, all the while, smiling at Meg. "It's because you make poor decisions for the 'greater good' and it goes badly for everyone involved. It's no wonder the only friend you have left is a demon." He flung Meg to the floor and she hit hard, the breath leaving her body before he kicked her onto her back. Elias stood over her with his blade drawn.

"So, Castiel. I'll give you one last chance. Tell me where Sam and Dean are, or I'll kill the demon, and then I'll make sure you stay alive long enough to see me rip the Winchesters' guts out."

"Stop, please!" Castiel screamed. "I was the one who did wrong! Punish me!"

"But that's exactly what I'm doing," Elias said in a pleased tone, watching the angel's distress. He crouched over top of Meg and grabbed a fistful of her hair to keep her still. She growled at him and struggled in his grip. "You see, you're so miserable, threatening your own life would never work. But you do care about your friends, oh so much."

"Meg!" Cas cried.

"Don't worry, Clarence, I've got this one." And then, Meg twisted and reached for the second blade she had stowed against the small of her back and slammed it up into Elias' ribs.

He screamed and fell backwards and Meg scrambled to the other side of the room. It hadn't been enough to kill him, unfortunately, but it was enough to stop him for a few seconds.

"Cas!" she yelled, hoping he could break free.

Then something else caught all of their attention. Doors were being slammed open, forcibly, and a definite concentrated effort was being made on the locked doors that led to the patient ward.

Elias scrambled to his feet, a hand on his wound as he crossed to the door. Meg smiled. "Probably the authorities. You should get out of here before I alert them."

The angel yanked the door to the room open, just as a huge crash sounded and alarms started to go off as the ward entrance was forced open. Meg met Cas' eyes, trying to get him to acknowledge that they needed to do something. But then, Elias staggered back several steps and tried to slam the door to the room shut.

"What is it?" Sarah demanded.

"Leviathans," Elias breathed.

"The hell?" Meg snarled. "You brought chompers here?"

"They're looking for Castiel too, most likely," Elias snapped. "We need to get out of here. Bring the prisoners."

"Yeah, I don't think so," Meg scoffed, readying her blade.

What was left of the door slammed open and before Elias could say another word, the Leviathan standing there slammed a fist into his chest. Elias stood open-mouthed as black goo seeped from the wound, and past his lips. He shuddered and fell to the ground, choking, as the Leviathan ripped his hand from Elias' body. He looked over at Cas and gave an oily smile.

"Ah, Castiel. It's been a while."

"Cas!" Meg hissed. Sarah and the other angel had let him go to deal with the Levi and it was time to get out of there—preferably now!

Thankfully, Castiel got the hint, and appeared next to her in the blink of an eye before grabbing her. Angel travel was nauseating, but Meg would take that over Leviathans any day. They appeared in the garden, and Cas steadied her as she stumbled, trying to keep from vomiting.

"Meg, are you alright?" he asked, worry in his eyes as he held her upright and looked at her wounds.

"I'm fine," she said more gruffly than planned, and tried to shake him off. "We need to get to my truck. Now."

"I'm sorry," he said softly, his hand on her cheek, touching the cut there. "I led them to you and you got hurt. Just like the demons."

"Look, Cas, we can talk about whose fault it is later, right now, we need to get out of here!"

He gave her one last pained look before they were teleporting to the parking lot and Meg was fumbling for her keys and phone in her pocket, both thankfully still there. They got in and she started the engine, ignoring the pain in her shoulder as she cranked the wheel and gunned it out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going now?" Castiel looked almost worried, and Meg remembered how he had talked about the hospital being like a sanctuary. She was going to have to keep an eye on him. Hopefully he wouldn't devolve into having panic attacks to anything. She drove straight for the highway out of town while she flipped through her phone contacts.

"Meg, it's not safe to drive while using the phone."

"Shut up," she snapped as she found the number she was looking for and listened to the ring tone for what seemed like an eternity before someone finally picked up.

"What?" came an irritated voice over the line.

"Well, hello to you too, sunshine," Meg said sarcastically. "Do me a favor and let's skip the sweet talk, I don't have the time."

"Meg, what's going on, we're busy. Is it Cas?" Dean's voice became more cautious as he mentioned his angel pal.

"Yeah, Cas has been awake for a while now, actually, sorry I didn't call. Was kind of busy keeping demons and angels, and now Levis off his back. We're currently on the run and need a place to stay, know anywhere decent?"

Dean cursed and spoke to someone—presumably Sam—in the background.

"Hey, I don't have all day," Meg urged, eyes sliding over to Cas who was turned around in his seat for some reason.

Dean cursed again. "Yeah, there's a cabin in Oregon, I'll text you the location. Sam and I will meet you there. Just make sure that—"

"Meg!" Cas yelled, and Meg just barely looked out the window in time to see a vehicle coming right at them in fast pursuit. She only had time to brace for impact before the other vehicle slammed into them.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Meg must have blacked out for a second because when she came to, the car was on its side on the shoulder of the road. Her body ached and she was pretty sure there was glass stuck in various places. She blinked and tried to take stock of her surroundings, trying to figure out what had happened.

A moan came close to her ear and something moved underneath her. "Meg?"

"Cas?" she asked, trying to shift off of him to see if he were injured. Blood matted the hair at the side of his head and covered one of his blue eyes as he blinked up at her, but he didn't seem too injured otherwise.

A tinny voice was shouting and she scrambled for her dropped phone, wincing as she put it to her ear.

"Dean," she ground out, wrapping an arm around her ribs that felt possibly cracked. Cas pulled her against him as if in an attempt to help her upright, but they just ended up sprawling back against the shattered window.

"What the hell happened? Are you guys okay?" Dean demanded.

"We got hit," Meg told him, and heard a car door open and shut somewhere close by. She looked out the cracked windshield, but couldn't see anything. "I think it's the Levis."

Dean cursed again. "Where are you? Sam and I are coming. Just try to hold tight."

"Not sure there's time for that," Meg said grimly as footsteps crunched through the gravel on the side of the road. "We're not far from the hospital."

The whole truck shook as someone jumped up onto the side of it. Meg scrambled for her blade, dropping the phone. She could still hear Dean's voice, calling from the other end, but hoped he would take the hint and figure she had better things to do than talk to him.

"Meg, you should go, I'll hold them off," Cas told her.

She laughed and patted his cheek. "That's sweet, Clarence, but it won't make any difference. We're in this together, remember?"

The door was ripped off the car violently and Meg and Cas looked up into the grinning face of the Leviathan that had surprised the angels in the hospital.

"Look at this. Canned meat! Oh, we are going to have so much fun with you two."

He reached down and grabbed Meg by back of her jacket, hauling her up with so much strength that she was ripped out of Castiel's grip. She gasped as her injuries protested, and swiped her blade at the Leviathan, but he tsked and simply threw her down onto the ground.

"Secure the demon," he called to his companions who instantly fell on Meg and tied her hand and foot. The Leviathan retrieved Castiel in like manner and the angel instantly tried to crawl over to Meg but was soon caught and had sigiled cuffs snapped around his wrists.

"There. Now you can't go fluttering off. Of course, I doubt you'd be going anywhere while we still have your demonic girlfriend here."

"You don't need her," Cas protested, looking up at the Leviathan. "Just leave her here. She won't follow us."

"The hell I won't," Meg ground out.

"Aw, how adorable," another Levi cooed mockingly. "And yet unheard of. I've never seen an angel and a demon get along let alone have feelings for each other."

Meg snorted, but couldn't deny anymore that she did have feelings for Cas. Besides, there was really no point denying anything if they were both going to die anyway. Instead, she tested her ropes. She could probably break them if she had to, but she knew that even if she did get out of them she'd never escape the Leviathans, and obviously, she wasn't about to leave Cas alone and at their mercy. She couldn't believe she was saying this, but their only hope now was that the Winchesters weren't that far away and that they would be able to find them if the Levis decided to cart them off somewhere.

"Pack them up," the Leviathan Meg suspected to be the leader commanded and Cas was dragged to his feet, a bag forced over his head. Meg protested as one was shoved over to face too.

"Meg?" she heard Cas' muffled call, before she felt herself hoisted over someone's shoulder and carried a few feet before she was dumped onto a hard surface. Another body landed next to her and she could almost smell Cas' anxiety as he wiggled, fighting against his chains.

"Meg?" he called again.

"I'm here," she grunted, nudging him with her bound hands.

"Shut them up," one of the Leviathans snapped as a third figure climbed into the back of the vehicle and the engine started.

Meg heard shuffling and wasn't ready for the blinding pain that crashed against her skull. Stars burst in the darkness of the bag and another blow followed as if to make sure she was out. An even more encompassing darkness folded over her and all noise around her dropped away as she passed into oblivion.

~~~~~~~~

Meg came back to her senses slowly. She wasn't sure how long she had been out. Unconsciousness wasn't exactly an easy way to keep a demon down, but it happened. She took stock of her surroundings, sitting up, and seemingly tied to a chair, since she couldn't move; she also still had the bag over her head which she was getting really tired of. She jerked at the bindings and footsteps vibrated through the floor toward her, grabbing the bag and yanking it from her head.

Meg blinked in the sudden light, forcing her aching head upright to see where she was.

The place looked like a dilapidated old warehouse—surprise, surprise. However that was actually a good thing as it meant they probably hadn't traveled too far from the city. That put their percentage of being rescued up a little.

However, she wasn't happy to see that the chair she had been tied to was sitting in the middle of a demon trap.

"Glad you're awake." The head Leviathan strode in front of her. "It's about time we got started."

Meg smiled sweetly up at him. "Please. I apprenticed under Hell's best torturer. If you think you're going to get anything out of me, then you're in for a surprise."

The Levi smirked and leaned over so he was only a few inches from her face. Meg fought not to pull back in disgust. "Well, lucky for us, we don't need to get anything out of you. Your boyfriend has the answers; and something tells me he's gonna be a little more upset about what we do to you than you will be." He took hold of her chair and spun it around to face the opposite wall.

Meg tried to hide her reaction to seeing Castiel suspended by chains a few yards in front of her, a Leviathan holding an angel blade threateningly against his throat, probably keeping him quiet. Meg's jaw tightened as she saw the state he was in. His eyes blown wide with panic she never thought she would see on him, and blood caking one side of his head, matting his hair. There was more blood spattered on his trench coat and his white hospital scrubs were dirty and torn in places.

"Clarence, you okay?" Meg asked quietly, meeting his gaze.

His eyes saddened. "I'm sorry, Meg," he replied.

"Alright, this is making me nauseous," the head Levi said, striding forward to stand between Cas and Meg. "This is how it goes: One of you is going to tell me where the Winchesters are. If you do, the demon will be rewarded with a swift death, if not…well, both of you will be very unhappy with the results."

"Enough with the foreplay," Meg quipped. "As we tried to explain to those angels you ganked earlier, we have no idea where the Winchesters are."

The head Levi cocked an eyebrow at her. "Hm, do you not? See, I might be inclined to believe you if I hadn't found this at the crash." He reached into his pocket and pulled out Meg's phone. She cursed inwardly, and tried to glare at Cas as his face betrayed his horror.

"It says right here in the call log that you talked to Dean Winchester right before we crashed into you, so I think you know exactly where they are, and you probably called them to make sure they got out of whatever bolt hole they have been hiding in in case we managed to get the information out of you."

Meg almost smirked. So they didn't expect Sam and Dean to show up. That boded well for a surprise attack at least. "Whatever makes you feel better about it," Meg told the Levi. "It's not like I really care about those plaid-wearing numb-nuts anyway."

"Then why not give them up?" the Levi asked.

"Because I hate you big mouths a whole lot more. Compared to you they're the lesser of two evils."

The Levi smirked and turned to nod at his companion. "See if you can persuade them, Evan. We need to find out where the Winchesters are headed before they get too far away. There's a reward in it for you if you can break them in under an hour."

The Levi, Evan, grinned and brandished the angel blade, leaving Cas' side. The angel yanked at his chains as the Levi advanced on Meg, stepping into the demon trap.

"Don't hurt her, we don't know where Sam and Dean are!" Cas cried. "Please!"

Evan had stepped behind Meg's chair and wrapped his hand around her wounded shoulder, squeezing tight and making her grit her teeth as he pressed the angel blade into the skin just below her clavicle. "I don't have to hurt her, Castiel, it's all up to you. You know how you can make me stop."

Cas hung his head. "I—I can't betray them again."

Meg felt a stirring of emotion in her chest, wishing she could have kept Castiel out of this. She didn't much care about being tortured, it certainly wouldn't be the first time, but she didn't want him to have to watch, especially in his rather unstable state of mind.

"Well, that's your decision, then," Evan told him with a shrug before he dug the blade into Meg's flesh and carved a deep furrow across her chest. She clamped her teeth to keep from screaming, and forced her lips into a smirk instead.

"Is that the best you can do?" she taunted.

The next cut sliced down her side and she gasped out.

"Please don't," Cas pleaded. "I don't even want to fight anymore. I don't want any part of this battle."

"Well, Castiel, that isn't an option, especially for you," the head Levi said, stalking around the suspended angel. "You were the one who brought us here—I'd like to thank you personally for that, by the way."

"Then why don't you let him go?" Meg snarked and couldn't stop the yelp that escaped her as Evan dug the blade into her leg.

"Because Castiel is too dangerous to be free. Mr. Roman wants to keep him close so he doesn't run the risk of Castiel leading the Winchesters right to him. But he'd also like those disreputable hunters served to him on a silver platter, and who better to tell us where they're hiding than their little angel pal?"

"There's nothing I can give you," Cas sighed. "I only just remembered who I really was. I—I have been watching the bees. Did you know that they can communicate by dancing to tell the whole hive where the find the best flowers?"

The Leviathans looked so confused Meg almost smiled.

"What is he talking about?" Evan asked.

"His melon's scrambled," Meg offered. "Can't you tell?"

The head Levi cocked his head to one side to watch Cas as if trying to figure out if he was bluffing or not.

Cas shifted again. "Did—did you know that a honey bee can sometimes visit up to one hundred flowers on a single outing?"

"You are insane, aren't you, angel?" the Levi said.

Cas gave him a sad smile. "I suppose I could be termed that, yes. I was in a mental hospital, and I am not exactly right anymore."

"Then in that case," the Levi turned to Evan and Meg. "He probably doesn't know where the Winchesters are, but you…" He strode over to Meg and she tried to sit up straighter as he leaned over her. "You are his caretaker, aren't you? You are obviously still in contact with the Winchesters, so you tell me—where are they?"

"Again, just 'cause I gave them a call doesn't mean I know where they are. They're grown men, they can take care of themselves," she told him.

The Levi gave an oily smile. "Evan, see how much the demon really does care for Castiel."

Evan happily went over to Cas and sliced him across the ribs with the angel blade. Cas let out a sudden scream and Meg jerked against her bonds even though there was no hope of escape, anger boiling up inside of her. The head Levi was smiling down at her, obviously gauging her reaction.

"A demon with feelings. What an odd thing," he said and stepped behind the chair, wrapping a hand in Meg's hair and holding her head still to make sure she was watching Evan carve into Cas. "Now, Evan's going to keep going until you give me the answer I'm looking for. So you might want to think about your answer before your angelic boyfriend becomes a lot less pretty."

Meg grit her teeth as Cas let out another pained yelp. She was faced with a dilemma because she couldn't give them a truthful answer even if she wanted to. The only thing she could do to save her and Cas' lives was tell the Levis that the Winchesters were probably on their way here right now so they could set a trap for them. That was, of course, if Sam and Dean could even find them. And then there was the fact that if Meg betrayed the Winchesters, Cas would never forgive her, and somehow, she didn't think she could live with that.

So instead, she just looked up at the Levi and sneered. "Go screw yourself, big mouth."

The Levi cocked an eyebrow. "Hm, guess I misjudged you after all. It seems demons are incapable of loving anything."

Pain shot through Meg's chest at that comment. It wasn't true, she told herself. Oddly enough, it wasn't true. But the words still hurt, especially while Cas screamed in the background. He had looked to her so many times, recently as a protector, and now she could do nothing but watch while he was being hurt. She could only glare up at the Leviathan as he smirked down at her, seeming to enjoy her reaction.

By now Cas was whimpering and covered in various cuts, all over his body. Meg saw the pained lines visible on his face and swallowed hard. She was trying to think of something to stall the Levis with. Give them a little extra time for Sam and Dean to make their way there.

"I guess we're going to have to step it up a notch."

The head Levi left Meg's side and nodded to Evan who stepped back from Castiel and returned to the demon. The head Levi reached behind him and pulled out an angel blade he must have taken from the angels he had killed at the hospital. He strode over to Castiel who was slumped, panting in his chains, patches of blood seeping through his once white scrubs. Meg tensed, wondering what he had planned, feeling helpless.

"Do you know why the Leviathans were relegated to Purgatory?" the Levi asked, as he slowly took off his suit jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeve. "It's because we were the only thing that could kill an angel besides one of these blades." He touched the tip of the blade to his finger as if to check the sharpness. "God didn't want us running around eating his new creation so we got locked up and forgotten." He brought the blade to his arm and cut into his own flesh, black goo seeping out as he rubbed the blade into it. "Still, despite our long interment, our very essence is poison to angels. It corrupts them, eats away at their grace."

Meg's breath caught in her throat as he advanced on Cas with the blade coated in the deadly substance. Cas also had caught sight of it, eyes widening.

"So," the Levi said. "Either of you want to volunteer information before I decide to demonstrate first hand how it works?"

Meg was torn between stalling somehow, and telling the big mouth exactly where he could stick the blade, but before she could think of the best course of action between those equally stupid ideas, she became aware of a commotion starting up outside the warehouse. The two Leviathans inside turned toward the entrance that was presumably guarded by more of their fellows and the roll down door shuddered with a vicious impact.

"What the hell?" the head Levi snarled, gripping the dagger more firmly in his hand.

Meg couldn't help but smirk. "Looks like the cavalry is here, boys."

The door was rolled up and Sam and Dean rushed into the warehouse, backlit by car headlights, and carrying machetes dripping with black ichor.

"You've got to be kidding me," Evan said, rushing forward to meet the Winchesters head on, which was a big mistake, because all he got for his trouble was a face full of borax, that was soon followed by a machete across the neck.

"About time you boys showed up," Meg said as Sam glanced over at her and Cas and gave them a nod. "My heroes."

"I should have known," the head Levi snarled. Dean turned to him, raising his blade, but the Levi leapt toward Cas and struck him. The angel cried out and Meg felt her heart, her stupid, fickle heart, leap into her throat.

"Cas!" She heard Dean shout, followed by a pained scream and everyone's attention was now on the Levi wreathing on the floor, covered in borax before Dean's blade found his neck and kicked his head away.

But all Meg saw was the angel blade, still dripping black goo, sticking out of Cas' thigh.

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Sam, get me out of here, dammit," Meg snarled, yanking at her bonds as Sam looked like he was about to go to Cas first. No way was she going to sit there while they did all the rescuing.

The younger Winchester turned back to her and quickly cut her ropes, before scuffing apart the demon trap.

Meg yanked the ropes off of her. "Castiel's hurt, we need to get him down," she said urgently before staggering to her feet and hurrying over to Cas, who was hanging limply in the chains, breathing heavily.

"Hey Clarence, you're gonna be alright," she whispered, glancing down at the blade the Levi had stuck in him. "Hurry!"

"I'm working on it!" Dean snapped, searching the Levis' bodies for the key, and Meg's hand hovered warily over the blade sticking from Cas' leg. It was really there, it had really happened. Just when she thought they were saved…

"Got it. Sammy, unlock him," Dean said as he found the key, tossing it to Sam. He joined Meg and they both took hold of Cas in preparation for the manacles to be unlocked.

Sam quickly unlocked the chains and Cas slumped limply into Dean's arms. Dean and Meg lowered him to the ground, careful of the blade still stuck in him, and Meg instantly knelt beside the wounded angel, her hand on his cheek.

"Castiel, hey, open your eyes, dammit," she hissed at him before she looked up at Dean again, thrusting her hand out. "Give me your belt."

"What? Why?" Dean demanded.

Meg had already moved to look at the wound in Cas' thigh, tearing his pant leg around it to better see. She felt sick as she saw black veins already spreading from the wound. "They stuck him with Levi goo. It's poison to angels."

"What?" Sam demanded, coming to kneel by Meg as Dean wordlessly yanked his belt off and handed it to the demon. She tied it off above the wound and Cas gasped and stirred, his eyes fluttering.

"Cas?" Dean asked tentatively, bending over the angel.

"Dean? Sam?" Cas looked between them, bewildered. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Sam swallowed hard and rested a huge hand on the angel's shoulder. "Meg called, we came to get you."

Cas looked like he wanted to sit up. "Meg?" he called.

"Right here, Clarence," Meg told him gently, leaning forward so he could see her past Sam's giant frame and smiled. "Now hold tight, I'm gonna get this out of you." Dean and Sam pressed the angel back against the ground as she swiftly pulled the angel blade out of his thigh.

Cas screamed and stiffened in their grip. Meg carefully wiped the blade off on one fallen Levi's clothing before she tucked it into the back of her belt.

"What do we do?" Sam asked quietly. "I mean, what can we…" He shook his head, eyes pained as he motioned to Cas' wound.

"Nothing here," Dean said decisively and stood. "There's an old camp ground not far from here, I saw it on the way in. There's got to be a hunting cabin we can hole up in. It's about twenty minutes down the highway." Meg caught what he didn't say; would Cas last that long? She looked down at the angel who was now shivering uncontrollably and nodded.

"It'll have to do. What are we waiting for then?"

Sam and Dean lifted Cas between them and Meg hurried ahead of them to the car—this week's model a sad old Camry—opening the back and scooting to the far side, guiding Cas down to rest in her lap as they slid him in as carefully as possible. Dean popped the trunk and threw their weapons in before retrieving a blanket that he handed to Meg.

"Thanks," she said only a little grudgingly as she tucked the blanket around Castiel. She was worried about how much he was shivering, knowing it was likely the poison already working itself through his system.

Dean and Sam climbed in up front and soon they were speeding off down the road at breakneck pace. Meg felt Cas' hand tangle in her jacket as he looked up at her.

"Meg, I'm sorry," he whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Hush," she told him. "Of course I'm fine. Now shut up and relax."

"I—I can try to heal you," he held up a hand but she grasped it and pushed it back down.

"No way. Your grace is wobbly, remember? I'm not gonna risk you blowing us all up." It wasn't the nicest way to put it, but she knew that would at least keep Cas from trying to heal her and losing what little strength he had left to fight the poison attacking his body and grace. He still looked a little helpless and distressed, so she smoothed his hair back off his forehead, hating how clammy his skin felt and Cas eventually closed his eyes in exhaustion, shuddering against her.

They drove for a while in silence, before Dean glanced in the rearview mirror. "Hey, probably should loosen that tourniquet for a few minutes."

Meg bit her lip, but knew it was important to restore circulation a bit even if it meant more of the poison would get into Cas' system. She pushed the blanket away from his leg and loosened the belt. Cas whimpered and curled in on himself.

"It hurts," he whispered.

"You'll be okay," she told him, probably to reassure herself as much as Cas.

She caught Sam and Dean sharing a look she couldn't quite read. But they weren't her concern right now. Cas was. She should have gotten him out of there after the demons showed up, should have know more supernatural assholes would follow because that was the way it always was.

Dean pulled off the highway onto a lonely forest road and they drove for another five minutes at least before pulling up at a dilapidated old cabin. Meg raised an eyebrow.

"Nice place," she drawled. "Is this where you take all the girls you rescue?"

"Beggars can't be choosers," Dean said. "I'm just glad there's a semi-sound structure here." He got out to open the trunk of the car, rooting through stuff. He came to Meg's door and handed her a lockpick and a camp lantern. "Go inside and get some lights on. If there's no electricity, there's more lanterns in the trunk. Find a place to put Cas."

She nodded and slipped out from under Cas' head, but halted as his hand tightened in her jacket, surprisingly strong for his condition.

"Meg?" he asked worriedly, his eyes glassy with pain and fever.

"Don't worry, Clarence, I'm not going anywhere," she told him fondly, patting his cheek and getting out of the car.

The cabin looked like it hadn't been used in years. And unfortunately, there wasn't electricity, but several oil lanterns were lying around and she lit them all and hurried to check for someplace to put Cas.

Luckily, there were a couple cots in a side room and she grabbed most of the lanterns and put them in there so they could see what they were doing.

The Winchesters came in then. Sam had Cas draped over his shoulders and Dean had several duffle bags.

"Here," Meg called.

Sam settled Cas as gently as possible onto the cot and Dean threw down the bags before he started to rifle through the cabin, turning on several more of their lanterns.

"Dean, what are you looking for?" Sam asked.

"Something we can use to get the poison out of him," the elder brother replied tersely as he slammed cupboards.

"Hold on," Sam said, and snagged one of the bags they had brought, rummaging through it.

Meg knelt beside Cas' cot. He looked even more sickly in the dim light of the camp lanterns. Sweat was beading on his brow and she smoothed his hair back again, hoping to offer even a modicum of comfort. His eyes fluttered open and his hand reached out for her. Meg took it with only a slight hesitation, not really caring what the Winchesters thought. It would probably teach them a lesson, seeing that Castiel trusted her more than he did them at the moment.

"Meg, stay with me," he whispered.

"I told you I'm not going anywhere," she told him.

"I don't want the bad dreams to come tonight," he breathed.

Meg looked up and saw Sam staring at Cas with something very akin to guilt and maybe a little understanding in his eyes. She squeezed Cas' hand tighter and leaned over to whisper in his ear, "I'll make sure they stay away. Just close your eyes and try to sleep, okay?"

"Got it!" Sam cried suddenly, holding up a small box as Dean hurried to see what he had found. "Snake bite kit—think that'll work?"

Dean shrugged. "It's all we got, it'll have to."

"Hurry up then," Meg urged them, shifting to sit at Cas' head so they could work. "The poison's already spread more than is healthy."

Dean swallowed hard and crouched next to Cas' injured leg. He ripped apart the fabric of his pants around the wound so he could see what he was doing and his eyes betrayed his worry.

"Son of a bitch," he breathed, then turned to Sam who had joined him. "Okay, let me see that. Go get me some towels or cloths—whatever you can find that's somewhat clean."

Sam nodded and went to find something they could use. Dean opened the kit, and pulled out a small sterile razor, and the venom extractor.

"Cas, buddy, this might hurt," he warned before using the razor to cut open the wound further to ease the poison's passage.

Cas tensed, but Meg calmed him by squeezing his hand as she watched Dean fix the suction pump over the wound and press the plunger to start the process off. Cas flinched and whimpered.

Sam hurried back in with a bowl of water and rags, crouching beside his brother again. "Is it working?" he asked anxiously.

"Looks like it," Dean said with some relief. They could see black goo pooling in the clear bit on the pump. "Give me a rag."

Sam handed him one of the cloths and Dean released the suction, pressing the rag to Cas' skin to sop up the poisonous ichor. He then repeated the process, drawing even more of the stuff from Cas' body.

Sam wet one of the cloths and handed it to Meg who used it to wipe Cas' forehead and neck. He seemed pretty out of it at the moment, which was probably a good thing.

After three more rounds with the suction pump, and what seemed like an eternity later, Sam leaned over for a closer look at the wound. "It looks a little better," he said. "Most of the blackness in the veins is gone."

"Yeah, I think it's actually working," Dean admitted, repeating the process several more times until nothing came out. He finally set the extractor to one side and loosened the tourniquet, taking a fresh cloth from the bowl and cleaning up the site of the wound.

"I guess now all we can do is wait," he said. "Leave it open, don't want to trap anything inside. I'm—I'm gonna go grab some more stuff out of the car."

And with that, Dean stood and left the cabin, leaving Sam and Meg to tend to Cas. Sam looked after his brother with a small sigh, before he turned back to Meg.

"Can you help me clean up the rest of his wounds?" he asked.

Meg nodded and they finished taping gauze over the lacerations Evan had carved over Castiel's body, before tucking a blanket around the angel who was completely asleep, or unconscious now. Meg finally breathed a sigh of relief.

"So, uh," Sam started, shrugging awkwardly. "How's he been? You know…" he motioned to his head.

"Well, let's just say that while he does remember who he is, at least, he's not exactly the Cas we all know and love," Meg told him honestly.

Sam frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"He's kind of…different," Meg shrugged. "Likes to play board games and talk to bees, oh, and he's not fighting anymore. He's also a lot more touchy-feely."

"So he's…crazy," Sam offered.

"Kinda. Though it's to be expected. You weren't exactly Mr. bill of health when Cas transferred your issues to his own noggin."

"Well, at least he's not cowering in a corner and screaming," Sam replied quietly.

"No, he got over that pretty quickly. He's a lot less angsty." She cocked her head to one side. "Oh, but then there's also the part that he obviously felt like you abandoned him."

Sam jaw tightened. "For the record, that was not my idea." He looked over at Cas, a sad expression on his face. "But we couldn't have kept him with us on the road either. We would have just put him in danger."

"Well, he wasn't exactly safe in the asylum either," Meg quipped.

Sam looked down at the first aid kit, and then back up at Meg, gesturing to her shoulder, clearing his throat. "Um, I should probably take a look at that. You're kind of bleeding."

"I heal fast," Meg protested but couldn't deny her body ached, both from the car crash and the torture from the halos and the Levis. "But I guess you can play Florence Nightingale if it makes you feel better about yourself. I've had a rough day."

Sam chuckled and offered her the other cot in the room, which she sat on as he cleaned and bandaged her wounds. She kept glancing over at Cas, making sure he was still breathing. She didn't want to admit how scared she had been when the Levi had stuck him with that blade. She couldn't remember the last time she had been that scared, even for her own life.

Dean returned just as Sam was finishing cleaning up the first aid kit, holding nothing but a half drunk bottle of whisky.

"You gonna share that?" Meg asked, raising an eyebrow.

He narrowed his eyes at her for a moment then reluctantly handed her the bottle. Meg took a long pull and then another before handing it back, not for the first time wishing it would actually have some effect on her.

"So," Meg said. "How'd you find us so fast?"

"Tracked the GPS on your phone," Sam shrugged. "Wasn't sure you'd have it on you, but I guess we were lucky."

"Yeah, head chomper thought he was being clever," Meg told him.

Dean snorted and drank some of the whisky himself, pulling a chair over and dropping into it heavily, running a hand over his face. Sam looked up at him knowingly.

"Dean, why don't you get some sleep? Meg and I can keep a look out," Sam offered.

"No way, kiddo, you still need to play catch up. You know I'm not gonna sleep," Dean grunted.

Sam huffed, but didn't argue. He looked as exhausted as Meg felt. She wished sleep would make her feel less tired. She watched as Sam unrolled a sleeping bag on the far side of the room and rested his head on one of the packs. Soon his deep, even breaths could be heard through the room.

Meg snatched the bottle away from Dean again and drank before giving him a sideways glance. "Thanks, by the way, for getting there as soon as you did."

"Lucky we weren't too far away," Dean said and accepted the whisky as she handed it back to him. "So…Cas is off his rocker?" He shrugged as Meg raised an eyebrow. "Thin walls."

Meg nodded. "Yeah, looks like that's what happens when angels take on human crazy."

Dean watched the angel stir in his sleep, his eyes pained. "He's not, you know, seeing Lucifer, is he?"

Meg shrugged. "He did at first, I think sometimes he still has nightmares, but for the most part it just seems like his brain is scrambled eggs. It's kind of like looking after a full-grown, angelic kindergartener."

Dean snorted, then was quiet for a long time before he asked, "Does he…does he really think we just abandoned him?"

Meg almost wanted to tell Dean off for the pain he had caused Cas, but even a demon could recognize the sincerity in the elder Winchester's face, and his own pain at having hurt a friend. "Well, like I said, he sees things like a five-year-old. But sometimes, in his deeper moments, he thinks he deserved to be left. He feels like he betrayed you and Sam and he believes he's being punished for it."

"Son of a bitch," Dean muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. "I never…I mean, I was pissed by what he did to Sam, I was, and keeping his deal with Crowley a secret, but I didn't want this." He shook his head. "He can be so damn stubborn sometimes."

Meg decided to keep the pot-kettle comment to herself. "Did you ever think that maybe he never asked for your help because every time he tried in the past you turned him down?" Meg asked, offhand.

Dean glared at her. "How would you know?"

"I don't have to know the details to read people, Dean. I know you and your brother well enough to know that you mostly care about each other, and anyone else better learn to fend for themselves."

"That's not…" he stopped and sighed, looking over at Sam before taking another long pull of whisky.

"Exactly," Meg smiled slightly.

Cas suddenly jerked on the cot and cried out, eyes fluttering open. "Meg? Where are you?" He flailed under his blankets and Meg hurried over to kneel at his side, Dean right on her heels.

"Castiel, I'm right here," she told him gently, reaching for his hand and grabbing a clean cloth from the bowl of water to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

He calmed slightly at her arrival, blinking up at her. "Meg? You were gone." His voice carried a slight accusation. "You said you would stay with me."

"I was only a few feet away," she assured him, finding his comment kinda endearing despite the situation.

He shifted uncomfortably, and his skin was hot to the touch, the fever still burning through him, though hopefully that meant he was fighting off whatever was left of the poison. "Would you stay with me now?"

She smiled. "Of course, Castiel. But only if you promise to sleep."

He nodded, and seemed to relax, closing his eyes again and falling into a fitful sleep.

Dean came up behind Meg, and set a chair down for her to sit in, a look cross between annoyance and amusement in his face.

"Looks like you have a new boyfriend," Dean told her.

"Shut up," Meg said, but smiled despite herself.

"He trusts you," the hunter admitted, is voice holding a little confusion and maybe some indignation.

"I was there when he needed me," she replied, and didn't miss the pang of regret that flickered across Dean's face.

He cleared his throat. "Why did you offer to stay, anyway? No offense, but it's not like we've had the best relationship in the past."

Meg shifted slightly, debating on whether to tell Dean the truth and then deciding there was no point in not doing so. "At first I was really just looking for protection. But, well, Cas wasn't exactly up to that all the time. And then…I don't know. He seemed to actually want me around; it's kind of a nice feeling. Demons get lonely too, you know."

Dean nodded. "I never said they didn't."

She looked down at Cas' bruised face. "I guess he just kind of gave me new purpose." She glared up at Dean then. "But don't go spreading that to any other demons."

He held up his hands. "Your secret is safe with me." He looked like he was going to walk off but then he turned around. "Hey. I'm uh, really glad he had you to look out for him."

Meg smiled. "No problem."

She turned her attention back to Cas and tucked his blanket tighter around him, then looked down at her hand still enfolded in his. If only she could be certain this would never change.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel's fever kept burning through the night and Meg didn't stray from his side for a second, afraid he would wake up and panic to find her missing. She checked his wound several times, but it didn't look like it was bleeding any more of the Leviathan goo, so she figured the fever was just a side-effect. At least Cas didn't seem like he was getting any worse.

A couple times during the night, Dean left the cabin to scout around and make sure nothing had tracked them down, but they seemed to be off the radar, at least for the moment. Though Meg wasn't sure how long that would last, and Dean was already making plans to leave the next day for a safer location if at all possible.

It was early morning, the sun just peeking over the horizon, when Cas stirred and finally opened his eyes again. His fever had broken an hour earlier to Meg's relief and she had been waiting for him to come around again.

He blinked up at her with some confusion and she smiled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "Hey, Clarence, how are you feeling?"

"Meg?" he whispered, licking his lips. "Thirsty."

Meg turned to Dean who had moved to stand in the doorway, hanging back a bit awkwardly. "Can you get him some water?"

The hunter instantly went to rummage in their cooler for a water bottle and brought it over to the cot. Meg took it and raised Cas' head into the crook of her elbow so he could drink. He gulped eagerly and some of it dripped down his chin before she took it away, worried he would overdo it.

"Easy, Cas. It will still be here later," she told him.

Cas' eyes wandered around the room, glazed with exhaustion. "Where are we?"

Dean cleared his throat and crouched beside the cot. "We're in a cabin in the woods. You were pretty messed up after the Levis took you and Meg. We had to find someplace safe to take care of your wounds."

Cas studied Dean for a long moment and Meg saw the hunter getting more and more uncomfortable. "I think I remember," he said slowly. "My leg hurts." He then turned to Meg, eyes searching. "Meg, did they hurt you?"

"Nothing I can't handle," she assured him. Her wounds were mostly healed by now anyway, even if it would have probably been more convincing if she had changed out of her bloody shirt.

Dean watched them for a second before he stood again. "If you're awake and on the mend, Cas, we need to get going. I'll start packing the car." He walked over to Sam who was still asleep on the floor and nudged him gently with his foot.

"Humn," Sam grunted, swiping at his face with a hand before sitting up and looking over at Cas. "Hey, Cas, how are you feeling?"

Cas smiled slightly at Sam. "I am a bit better than I was before, it seems," he said, then his eyes narrowed. "How are you, Sam?"

Sam got up and came over to the cot. "I'm okay." He was silent for a while, biting his lip, before he said. "Cas, I…I never really got a chance to thank you. I never wanted—you know…"

Cas' eyes softened and he smiled sadly. "Oh, Sam, you must not blame yourself for my current condition. It was my choice. Besides I think it has offered me new perspectives that I am most grateful for."

Sam cast a glance at Meg before he smiled back at the angel. "Still, Cas, we're gonna find a way to fix you. You know that, right?"

Cas didn't reply, just continued to give him the same sad smile and Meg cleared her throat, standing up. "If you'll keep him company, I'm going to help pack." She ignored the odd look Sam gave her and headed toward the door of the cabin as the younger Winchester took her vacated seat.

Unsurprisingly, she found Dean sitting against the back bumper of the car, flask in hand. She stopped a few feet away from him, hands on her hips.

"Hey, I thought you were in a hurry to get out of here," she told him. "This isn't exactly happy hour."

He grunted, and Meg bit back a sigh, striding over and snagging the flask from him, taking a long drink as he glared daggers at her. "Look, I get you love that strong and silent crap, but sometimes you just have to let that go."

"What are you getting at, Meg?"

"You know what I'm getting at," she snapped. "You need to talk to Cas. He's been blaming himself for everything since the minute he got his memories back."

"He broke Sam's head," Dean growled.

"And I think he's paid for it enough, don't you?" Meg crossed her arms over her chest. "Sam doesn't seem to hold anything against him, so why can't you get over it? Haven't we all made mistakes?"

Dean gave a humorless chuckle and grabbed his flask back from her. "I don't need a demon to lecture me."

"Well, if I don't, who else is going to?" Meg demanded. "Cas is your friend, you idiot. He's my friend too, and I sure as hell don't have many of those; neither do you, though there's no small wonder why."

Dean bristled. "You don't understand."

"I understand enough." Meg raised an eyebrow. "You're looking for someone to blame for all of this, and Cas just happened to be the best choice."

"It was his fault."

"But he had good intentions," Meg informed him. "He did what he thought he had to. How many times have you and Sam done the same with just as catastrophic results?"

Dean's jaw clenched and he turned away from her, the lines of his shoulders tight and angry.

"Deep down, he did this to protect you and you know it. What would have happened if Raphael had gained control of heaven? Apocalypse Take Two, that's what, and they wouldn't have hesitated to find new and improved ways to get you and Sam to say yes to Michael and Lucifer. I might just be a demon, but even I know that much. Cas saved you from that. He was happy to sacrifice himself for the people he called family, but he was given a second chance and you can't even look at him."

"It's not like that," Dean shook his head, trying to deny it, but Meg could see the truth in his eyes.

"Isn't it?" she demanded. "You know what he told me? He thinks his resurrection was for punishment. That he came back from the dead, alone, and unable to remember who he was until you found him and shook his memories around a little. And then you just abandoned him when he needed you the most without any word of apology." So maybe Cas hadn't said all of that exactly, but Meg could read between the lines.

Dean turned around to face her again. There was still anger on his face, but there was guilt now too, which was stronger. That gave Meg a bit of perverse joy. "He…he actually said his resurrection was a punishment?"

Meg nodded once. "Wouldn't you, if your friends abandoned you when you were mentally insane?"

Dean cursed and ran a hand over his face. "But he has to understand that what he did was wrong. You don't just get to play God and break the world."

"You don't think he knows that? You think he doesn't know what he did wrong? He's not actually a child, Dean, even if he's acting like one right now. He's been abandoned by everyone he ever cared about because of this: the angels first when he rebelled for you, and now his adopted family—you don't think that's punishment enough?"

Dean was silent for a long moment, fighting off some inner turmoil. Then he finally sagged and looked back toward Meg grudgingly. "You know what? You're right. But I ain't saying it's gonna happen all at once."

Meg smirked. "Can I get that in writing?"

"Shut up," Dean grunted as he stood up again. "Let's go load everyone up and get the hell out of here."

Sam was helping Cas drink some more water when they came back into the cabin and Meg saw Dean's jaw twitch at the sight as if he wanted to say something, but wasn't quite brave enough—at least that's the way she saw it. Instead, he cleared his throat and addressed the angel directly. "You think you're ready to head out, Cas?"

The angel cast a quick look at Meg, slight panic in his eyes. "Am—am I going back to the hospital? Meg's coming too, aren't you, Meg? I—I promise not to be any trouble."

Meg would have enjoyed the wave of dismay that washed over Dean's face if she hadn't already been gutted by the tone of her angel's voice. She swiftly went over to Cas and crouched next to his bed.

"We can't go back there, Castiel, it's not safe anymore. We're going to stick with Sam and Dean for a while."

Cas' eyes flicked between the two Winchesters, lingering on Dean the longest. Sam glared at his brother and Dean cleared his throat again.

"It'll be safer if we stick together," the elder brother said. "As long as you're up for traveling."

A bit of relief seemed to wash over Castiel and he nodded. "I think I could manage it, though I fear I will be no use to you in a fight. My grace is still very wobbly, especially now from the poison. If I try to use it, I fear I would shatter into stars."

Sam and Dean shared a look. "We definitely don't want that to happen, Cas," Sam said quickly, patting his knee. "And you won't need to fight either. Hopefully we won't run into any more Leviathans."

"Not if we get going anyway," Dean said, grabbing the bags they had brought.

It only took them a few minutes to get ready. Meg and Sam helped Cas to his feet and to the car where he sat with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He looked even more peaked out in the sunlight, but at least he was upright and lucid—or at least as lucid as he ever was these days.

They drove in silence for a while before stopping for coffee and road food at a gas station. Cas was already looking sleepy by midmorning and he eventually slumped sideways in the backseat, resting his head on Meg's lap. Sam glanced back and smiled a little. Meg returned his look with one of warning, and let the slumbering angel stay where he was. She was just glad Castiel was okay. She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply as she tried not to think about how scared she was when she had seen the knife in his thigh.

"It normal for him to sleep a lot now?"

Dean's inquiry brought her back to the present. She shrugged. "Guess it's a side-effect of his 'wobbly' grace. Either way, it can't hurt him now when he's recovering."

Dean nodded and didn't say anything else. He turned on the radio and they drove another few hours in silence apart from the blaring drums and guitars.

Cas slept most of the day and Meg had to nudge him awake as they pulled into an old foreclosed house they would be squatting in that night.

They set up a little camp inside and Cas sat at the table with them after Sam had checked his wound to make sure it was still doing okay.

Cas stayed at the table as Sam checked his laptop, looking for any news stories about the hospital break-in to see if Cas and Meg might be on the radar. The angel had grabbed a notebook from a pile of folders and books and started sketching. Meg looked over his shoulder and saw more flowers and bees.

"I miss the bees, Meg," he told her.

She smiled slightly. "Maybe someday you can have a whole bee farm."

His eyes lit up, but his smile was sad. "I would like that, but I don't think it's possible."

Dean was setting up sleeping areas and he came over to glance at Cas' picture.

"Hey, that's pretty good, buddy," he said, forcing a smile. "So…" He sat down awkwardly, hands clasped across his knees. "Bees are your thing now, I guess?"

Cas kept drawing. "Their plan is perfect. Nothing needs to be added."

Dean nodded slightly, still looking a bit awkward.

Meg caught Sam's eye and nodded to one side of the room, deciding to give the two a little privacy. She was the one who had told Dean to talk, after all. "Hey, Sam, why don't we pull out a map and see if we can pinpoint where the Levi activity is strongest. That way we can find the best roads to take."

Sam frowned but then glanced at his brother and nodded. "Oh, uh, sure. That's a good idea."

They retreated to one side of the room, not too far away that they couldn't hear, but enough so that Dean wouldn't feel so crowded.

"Cas…" Dean started and then stopped. Meg glanced over and saw his eyes closed before he inhaled deeply.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas said quietly, beating him to it. "I kept secrets from you and that was not alright."

"Cas, you don't…"

The angel smiled slightly. "I learned about sharing in group therapy. Perhaps we should try that now?"

The look on Dean's face was priceless, but he shrugged. "O-okay, sure."

Cas put his pencil down and looked over at the Winchester. "I did a lot of bad things, I hurt a lot of people, but I feel even worse about betraying you and Sam."

Dean swallowed hard. Castiel motioned to him. "It's your turn to share now, Dean."

"Um, okay," Dean took a deep breath. "I was angry, Cas. Really angry. Part of me still is. But I also understand that you did what you thought you had to at the time. It was a stupid decision, but you were kinda running out of options, weren't you?"

Cas nodded. "It was admittedly stupid. I should have seen the consequences. It was not fun having the Leviathans inside of me. I would have liked to avoid that." His face sobered. "Dean, I am truly sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you and Sam."

Dean's face wavered and he looked down at his hands. "I know, Cas. I guess…I guess I was a little harsh on you too."

"Your anger was understandable. Sam could have died from his cage scars."

Dean nodded jerkily. "Point is, Cas, I guess we've all done things we regret. And sure, sometimes we're gonna be at each other's throats because of it. But at the end of the day, we're all we have. It's just us now, and I…" He stopped, glancing over at the flask sitting on the table beside him, trying to tamp down some overwhelming emotion. "I guess I just can't stand the thought of losing anyone else."

"I fear I'm cursed, Dean. Perhaps it is best for me to stay away from you," Castiel said quietly.

Dean shook his head. "That ship has sailed for Sam and me a long time ago. I'd rather have you, cursed or not."

Cas actually smiled now. "You mean that?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Cas, I do. And I don't care if you fight or not—I'll respect any decision you make on that account. You're still here and that's what matters."

Cas' grin broadened and he suddenly leaned forward and pulled Dean into a hug. "Thank you, Dean!"

"Um, yeah, you're—uh—welcome, buddy," Dean stuttered, patting Cas' back awkwardly before having to prop the angel back into his chair. Meg hid a smirk.

"Told you he was more touchy-feely now," she told him.

Dean gave her a longsuffering look, but there seemed to have been a weight lifted from his shoulders now.

"Is this like Team Free Will?" Cas asked, looking between the brothers.

"Sure, Cas," Dean smiled.

"Can Meg join?" the angel asked hopefully.

"Uh…" Dean and Sam shared a look.

Meg crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, boys, what do you say?"

"Fine," Dean huffed.

Cas beamed and Meg couldn't help but smile back. Maybe being part of this team wouldn't be so bad after all.

The End


End file.
